POEMS

Used To Be

I used to be so happy, so free,

Now I wish I was all of those things,

Hurt has a way of changing people but only a few believe such a theory,

You never know how much it hurts until youre in that position,

I yell i do not care but I care more than ever,

I curse and lash out at everyone around me hoping that just maybe they will notice something has changed,

Maybe they will help me feel better,

But I feel worst,

Why cant anyone see me for the girl I really am ,

And not the girl they wish I was,

My eyes reveal my secrets but nobody sees them they just judge me for being the way that I am,

I hate the way I am,

I feel disappointed ,

I wish I was better,

I feel as though my whole life is a rotten mess ,

I feel as though im dwelling in a black hole far away from humanity,

As the days go by I sink deeper and deeper while screaming like anyone would ever hear me,

Why me I ask?

Because you hurt the ones closest to you,

Because you make some people feel unwelcomed ,

Because you dont see your worth ,

I know dammit!!

I can't control it anymore I just want someone to love me goshhh just love me please!!

I mess up everyday but I cant get better on my own,

I allowed depression to infiltrate my mind and now it is dragging me closer to death's door as I wish I could experience what I though was 'happiness'.