Mermaids And The Vampires Who Love Them

21. WHY WON'T MY VAMPIRE BOYFRIEND DRAIN ALL MY BLOOD?

"What was that, Chum?" says the fat guy.

"I didn't hear anything," says Chum.

"Sounded like an animal."

Chum looks around. "I see nothing, Gurges. You really gotta stop drinking the boss's stash. Come on, let's go in before this food gets cold and the boss throws us overboard again. I can't afford another tux."

At least the spell seems to be working. Feeling slightly more confident, I hold my breath and pull Pierce into the room right behind Chum and Gurges.

"About time," hollers Brack Sharkweather. "Hard to get good help on a yacht these days."

"Dad, Gurges, and Chum are standing right here. They can hear you," Shelly says, rolling her eyes. I kind of respect her for calling out her dad and for her professional-grade eye-rolling.

Brack glares at Shelly. She is deliberately not looking him in the eye. She's in a long silver gown, and her waist-length golden-green hair is dry and limp.

Crumpet and Brack are also in tuxedos, which looks pretty funny on Crumpet. I've only just gotten used to seeing him in his plaid shirts and jeans. Crumpet looks right at the spot where Pierce and I are standing next to the door. The headmaster arches an eyebrow. My heart speeds up. Oh, no! Vampire senses! He can probably smell us or hear my heart pounding in my chest.

Pierce squeezes my hand. I think he's trying to tell me it'll be okay, but I'm ready to run out of there.

"Headmaster, would you like some O-negative de Virgin? I had it flown in from a French nunnery only this morning."

"Gross, Dad," Shelly shoots back, wrinkling her nose.

Crumpet looks away from Pierce and me and gives Sharkweather a tight smile. "Please."

Gurges pours some blood into Crumpet's goblet while I work on not gagging. Crumpet takes a sip. "Nice vintage."

Chum dishes up the food to Shelly and her dad—some kind of pasta with lobster, raw oysters, and seaweed salad. But after the virgin blood, I am totally not hungry anymore. Once Chum and Gurges finish serving, they stand at attention at the back of the room doing absolutely nothing. They look so bored.

"So what about my proposal to admit more merfolk to the school, Crumpet?" says Sharkweather. He picks up an oyster, slides it into his mouth, slurps, and swallows it whole.

"I'm not sure it's a good idea. We're already several weeks into the semester, and the students are bonding. I think it best if we wait and admit them next semester."

"I don't think you understand the scale of my contributions to your school, Headmaster," he spits.

"Oh, Brack, I understand, but I didn't realize the money came with strings attached. I thought the donations were altruistic."

Mr. Sharkweather laughs, low and amused. "I don't know the meaning of the word."

"Perhaps you should go back and complete your education."

Oh, snap.

"Watch yourself, vampire. I have friends in high places."

Crumpet glares. "Look, Sharkweather, I did what you asked with the Fishwater girl; I think I've held up my end of the bargain. But I will not admit any more merfolk this semester. I simply do not understand the urgency."

Mr. Sharkweather kicks Shelly under the table. She coughs and wipes her mouth on a white linen napkin. "Oh, Headmaster Crumpet. It is so lonely for me at the school."

Shelly sounds like she is reciting a speech, probably scripted by her father.

Crumpet narrows his blond eyebrows. "Really? Because it seems that you've made quite a few ... uh ... friends."