Missing You (Gawsten)

Loose Ends

Geoff stands by, clueless, as Otto tries the doorknob. Just as they both had already suspected, it's locked.

"What's happening?" Geoff whispers to his curly-haired friend.

"He's gonna have a panic attack if we can't get in there and calm him down. He started gettin' them really bad after..." Otto explains, and Geoff understands. He feels guilt claw at his chest from the inside. The talons scrape and try their best to break through. His sudden absence caused Awsten's anxiety to get worse.

"Why is everything not alright, Awsten?" Otto asks through the door. His voice takes on a softer tone. Geoff can tell this isn't the first time this has happened.

"He's going to leave again!"

His voice is only getting worse. He's on the edge of an attack- Otto can tell.

"No I'm not, sweetheart. I promised, remember?" Geoff says, and the room beyond the green door stays silent for a moment.

Otto is about to go get a bobby pin when an almost unnoticeable click comes from the doorknob. Geoff glances down at it as if it had spoken to him, and he's supposed to reply. Otto nudges him after a moment, and he grasps the knob in answer. He opens the door slowly and Otto backs away, deciding to let Geoff do this.

Geoff enters the dimly lit room and sees Awsten sitting in the middle of the floor. He has his knees hugged to his chest and his forehead resting on them. He seems to be having slight trouble breathing, as he takes small, forced breaths.

Geoff carefully makes his way over to the smaller boy. He sits down beside him, facing him. Awsten doesn't dare to peek up at him, he's too busy trying to remember how to keep his grip.

Geoff doesn't know what to do. Awsten has always had anxiety, but attacks are extremely rare- at least, they used to be. Otto seemed a little too well versed in what he was doing before Awsten unlocked the door. Geoff notices slight vibrations coming from the boy curled up in front of him- he's shaking like a leaf.

"Little star, 'm not leaving you again- Even if problems with the gang arise, I won't. I'm here to stay," Geoff's gentle voice washes over Awsten.

The purple-haired boy tries to stop shaking. He tries to remember how to make his lungs work. He tries to not flinch when Geoff puts a comforting hand on his back. He seems to be failing at everything in the moment, though. Geoff's hand makes him jump slightly, which only makes him spiral more. His breathing starts getting more uncontrolled, and it feels like he's losing all grip on everything.

The room seems to fall away, and Awsten is lost- a floating speck that can't remember how to use it's own lungs in a massive empty space. All he can think about is Geoff. Geoff leaving. Geoff in danger. Geoff being caught by the man that had tormented him years ago. Geoff never coming home.

Geoff still doesn't know what to do. It's obvious that Awsten is getting worse, as his breathing is becoming sporadic. He removes his hand and leans closer to Awsten. It's obvious that his touch made things worse, so he makes sure that his forehead doesn't touch the side of Awsten's head as he starts whispering calmingly.

"I'm not leaving. I'm here now, sunshine. I promise, I won't disappear again. The boys will keep things under control with the gang. I'm right here, Awsie," he continues whispering sweet things into the purple-haired boy's ear until Awsten's breathing starts slowing down.

Maybe Geoff moves, or perhaps it's Awsten, but either way- Geoff's forehead comes to rest on the side of Awsten's head. Awsten, still trying to get his grip on reality back, leans into the touch. Geoff wraps his arms around the smaller boy and feels the aftershocks of his panic attack melt away.

They stay there on the floor for a while. Awsten eventually lifts his head up and leans it on Geoff's shoulder, and the taller boy pulls him closer. The purple-haired boy takes a deep breath, and lazily wraps his arms around Geoff's neck. Geoff reaches one arm under his knees, keeps the other arm around Awsten's back, and lifts him up.

It isn't easy to pick someone up while in a sitting position, but Geoff manages. He sits down on the bed, and Awsten stays in his lap. He looks tired, and Geoff figures his anxiety attack drained a lot of his energy.

Just then, Otto pops his head in. "Is he okay?"

Geoff nods and gazes back down at Awsten, who's eyes have fluttered closed. His eyelashes brush his cheekbones and his nose nudges Geoff's collarbone with every breath the taller boy takes.

He's beautiful.

...