Missing You (Gawsten)

Raw

///Eight Months Earlier///

"You're sure he didn't say anything to either of you?" The officer's gruff voice asks.

I tighten my arms around Awsten. I can feel him steadily shaking. The vibrations rack through his body as his hands cling to the back of my shirt.

"Aws?" I try. He whimpers and shakes his head slightly.

"He didn't," I reply unsteadily. The officer nods and closes his notebook.

"Give the station a call if you think of anything, and we'll let you know if we find anything." He gives us a look of sympathy and walks away.

I hold Awsten tighter.

A few feet away, two more cops come out of the front door of our house. Another one leads a police dog out of the back yard. They pack up quickly, then leave. They found nothing. It's like he disappeared into thin air.

Awsten finally starts sobbing. His broken breaths convulse through his abdomen and I hold him, trying to keep him whole. I knew he'd been holding off until the police left.

Yesterday, Geoff never came home from the store. We couldn't get ahold of him, and he still wasn't back this morning. It's late afternoon now, and we called the cops two hours ago. They searched and questioned, but ultimately came up empty. We'll all keep trying though. For Geoff.

"Where is h-he, Otto?" Awsten asks. I can't answer, so I bury my face into his shoulder.

***

///One Month Later///

One month has passed since Geoff went missing. There are still no leads, and there are whispers that the police department is getting tired, and considering marking the case as cold due to lack of evidence.

It horrifies me to even think about telling Awsten that the cops are ready to give up, but at the same time I understand it. I will never give up on finding Geoff, but we need to consider that maybe he doesn't want to be found. That's what the police think, anyway.

As I sit on the couch in the quiet of the house, I ponder the idea of bringing that up to Awsten, but quickly dismiss it. I think of how raw his eyes were after the police left, after he finally went to sleep while clinging to me like I might disappear too. He had rubbed them so much, muttering about how he didn't wanna be a crybaby, only to start crying again. He was scared, and I was too.

We both still are.

Now, he barely speaks. His throat is always sore. It hurts to talk. I always ask him why his throat is bothering him, and he always shrugs. We've gotten good at communicating non-verbally, but I want to know why his throat is always a mess.

It's nearing three in the morning, and I know I need to go to bed. I haven't stayed up this late since I was a teenager, which wasn't that long ago, but still. I stand up with a grunt and quietly start making my way upstairs. I walk past Awsten's room in the dark hallway, but something makes me stop.

A noise. It sounds like inky black sadness seeping out of the walls. It creeps out from under Awsten's door and tries to crawl up my legs, but isn't able to lift it's own heaviness.