Love Lies

forsaken,

E'er since my first conscious day, there hast been something thither. By which, I convey, e'er since I was old enough to feel something for someone else, I hath. 'Twas not just someone, neither. 'Twas the man who was meant to be my adoptive brother, the son of the brave king who saved me, the son of my peoples' supposed enemy and the God who hast, since my tragic infancy, done nothing but oppose me and despise me through all my endeavors. 'Tis hither wherein this situation could not be any worse.

'Tis Thor, the vile God of Thunder, as zany as't may sound. I, myself, hath been hither on Asgard for the whole of my conscious life, all 1052 damned years (a measly 17 years on Midgard, or Earth, as most may know't), but I still doth not know him all that well.

We were inseparable as kids, I am able to promise thou that much. Yet, things grew significantly less amicable as time passed us by. If only things could hath stayed the same as they always were, maybe then e'erything would hath turned out differently.

I look at him across the table and he is eating like a madman. 'Tis practically disgusting the way that he is all o'er the place; drinking and scarfing down whatever he can reach. His peers bellow and applaud him in jest from across the table, abreast of me as well as he.

I, withal, tarry thither quietly in my self-inflicted solitude.

'Tis something that happens e'ery time Odin throws some sort of dinner or ball or whatever t'may be that week. I remain always alone, always an outcast. I get set aside e'ery single week and 'tis ad rem wherein I feel as though 'tis no other fault but my own. Though, 'tis not... despite how arduous 'tis for me to give credence.

Thor casted me effortlessly aside when he found his way to new friends as the years passed on. Frigga encouraged me to follow the same pattern, to move on, but I could not find't within myself to move along with something so selfish to that which remains just a shell of the person I used to know. I was so hurt for so many years that he would just leave me like this to bask in my loneliness, that I thought't only fair to ne'er doth such a thing to him.

I wipe my hands with a napkin and look up; he does not even look at me anymore. What hast happened? Hath I done something? I wish I knew.

Hours passed on and we sat at the table with the desert dishes placed before us. I picked at one, all the while hoping for a quick glance, a little peak, a fleeting moment in which our eyes could meet for the first time in what hast felt like forever... but he shall not even give me that satisfaction.

After dinner, I promenaded the halls alone yet again, hoping to see a familiar face. Nothing thus far. I hummed quietly to myself as I paced around a corner in the immense castle within which I oft' found myself astray.

"Loki, wherefore art thou doing hither e'er-so late?" He interrogated.

I hesitated. "Naught, brother..."

"Thou art poking about again, were thou not?" He accused.

"Nay... Thor... 'tis not that. I was solely-" I stopped. I wanted to say that I was merely meandering around with hopes to encounter thou, just as I hast done now, but that strikes me as utterly mad. "I was unable to sleep, 'tis all."

"Mmm," he agreed. "Nor can I, brother," he added, looking at me with appetency. As if he missed something of me and, for once, I could actually see't deep within his eyes and hidden behind his face... nothing like the veil he seemed to don in front of others.

'Twas like seeing me hither alone stirs something up within him. As if a simple word uttered from my lips, sounding just as't did all those years ago could force the memories that we hath forged to rise from their graves and allow us to dance with their beautiful phantasms. Like my mere presence triggers this uncontrollable reaction within his eyes, even, by the way he looked upon me to and fro. I shall not think a thing of't, though, he shall be back to his old ways soon enough.

I smiled at the efficacy of my lie. Though, if only I was not forced to doth this all the time, perhaps we could prosper. Lies art not a way of life, they art simply a way out of dealing with'ts most difficult obstacles, a means to an end; these art the only times I use them.

"Wherefore not?" I questioned, wanting only to rid those thoughts from mine own head.

"Of what doth thou speak?"

"Wherefore art thou unable to sleep?" I repeated.

"Well, with the coronation but a few weeks away-"

"I see," I replied, attempting to seem polite and doing my best not to pry, just as I hast been taught.

"Where art thou going?" He asked, seemingly caring for once.

My eyebrows raised at this query, "oh, uhm... perhaps to the library to read. Doth thou care to join me?" I asked out of politeness, hoping that he would not agree.

"Er— uh, sure. I was headed outside actually but I suppose-"

"Oh, dear. If thou were off somewhere I doth not wish to intrude I-"

"Nay, Loki. Please. I- I miss our shared times. I ne'er really know how to go about saying that. Come outside with me, I doth insist, as the fresh air shall doth thou good. Forbye, I am quite sure breathing in all that dusty old book air is not good for thee," he chuckled.

I nodded at his blissful ignorance with a smile. "I suppose thou might be right. Let us go."

Off we were to a balcony high up on the estate. The view of the foreboding galaxy before us was eye opening- to see all those stars and planets and galaxies all around us and to simply wonder what more might be out yonder...

We sat at the ledge, feet dangling off the balcony just looking out into the dark nothingness that was before us. How calming t'was to unambiguously sit thither and hearken to the sound of silence.

After a moment, I could not help but glance o'er at him and wonder what t'was I felt. I was certain earlier that I hast simply gone mad, though, he hast been absent for so many years there really is not any way to truly tell anymore... this, somehow, feels different.

"Brother..." I started.

"Yes, Loki?" He turned to see I was already looking his way.

"Wherefore hath thou been so far away... er- of late?"

"I doth not follow..." he replied.

Of course thou doth not, thou art a blundering oaf, thou doth not seem to follow anything, I thought. Then, I said, "t'just seems evident to me that thou doth not want me around thee. Hel, thou wish to hath nothing to doth with me. Thou art always with Lady Sif, that jade, and the rest of thine group but... ne'er with me. Sure, I understand wherefore... I am and always shall be an outsider hither, but we used to be so close. Wherefore hath thou chosen now to cast me aside and walk e'er closer to them as I seem to drift away?"

His stare was blank... t'was like he knew I thought this of him - of us - but ne'er in a million years expected me to say't out loud.

"All I can think to say... I mean— uhhm... Loki, I am sorry. There art no words I can use to describe how terrible I feel. I hath gotten carried away with the Avengers and Jane and my life hither as well as on Midgard of late that I... well, I suppose I hath simply forgotten about the only man who wanted to be thither with me when no one else did," he whispered.

Now I was left speechless. I truly was not expecting an apology to be fair...

"I- Thor," I paused. I did not know what to say. I simply could not express how I felt in that moment, finally hearing that which I had yearned for so many years.

"Thou need not say a thing. I understand, Loki. I was an oaf, believe me, I know."

"Well, yes..." I chuckled as did he. "We shall fix this. I promise thou that," I added.

"I certainly hope so," he conceded. I looked up at him in awe. He was being honest with his feelings, the most I can doth is praise him for that.

The only thing I cannot comprehend, is the fact that if he hast missed me as much as he says he hast, wherefore, then, hast't taken him so long to say something?

"I assure thou, brother," I started. "The sun shall shine upon us again," I told him, referencing to all those times when he would say something of a similar likeness to me when we were merely boys.

Henceforth, though, this was something I truly meant.