Relapse

| 29 | Violated |

 "That's everything," Liam remarked as we moved the last of my stuff from my apartment to his on Sunday night.

I didn't want to go back there ever again, Sebastian knew where I lived and I never wanted him to find me ever again.

"I'm exhausted," I groaned, "We moved so much shit."

"I moved so much shit," he laughed.

"Minor details," I smiled.

"So we left the bed, the couch, and the barstools, you don't want any of it?" he asked.

"Yeah," I replied, "He slept in that bed, we, we-" I began to say.

"You can tell me anything you want to," he said.

"We, we hooked up on the couch on a Friday night, the second week I was in town," I sighed, "Amy and I went out to the bar to dance and he took me home and I told him to stay and one thing led to another." 

"It's okay," he said, snaking his arm around my waist, pulling me in tight, "It's all in the past, you never have to see any of that shit again."

"Okay," I sighed, staring at the blank TV screen.

"Ready for the trial tomorrow?" he asked.

"No," I replied, my heart dropping in my chest, "Not at all."

Sebastian's trial began the next day and was supposed to be short, finished by the day after. I was testifying tomorrow and I was scared to death to see his face again, to have his gray-brown eyes shooting daggers into my body as I took the stand and told the world what he did to me.

"I'm going to be there with you the entire time," he replied, "And if they'd let me on the stand with you so I could hold your hand, you know I'd be there," he added.

"I don't want to see him," I replied quietly, "I don't want to ever see him again."

"I know baby," he sighed, pulling me in close.

"What if he doesn't get found guilty," I remarked, letting my mind wander, "And I have to live the rest of my life knowing that he's out there somewhere and he could find me again?"

"Don't think that way," he sighed, running his fingers through my hair, "You have to think positive." 

"I'm trying," I replied, letting out a deep sigh.

It was like my body had no more tears left as I stood there with him. Every part of me wanted to cry but I couldn't, I sat there in silence and wondered what exactly I had ever done to deserve what was coming at me.

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I didn't sleep much that Sunday night before the trial, I was too busy worrying about what they were going to ask me the next day.

I got up right after Liam did and took a long shower that eventually turned cold after running out of hot water.

The DA told me to wear a dress or a skirt instead of slacks, to wear pantyhose, to make sure my top wasn't too low cut, just to make myself look like the average girl next door to the jurors. So I went out and bought a pair of pantyhose, I got a white blouse to go under my yellow blazer and a black skirt and my pair of matching yellow patent leather flats. I put in my nice diamond earrings from my mom and dad from my 21st birthday and an old, simple necklace I'd had for a few years now to try to replace the one Liam had given me after we broke up.

"You look nice," Liam remarked as I came out of the bathroom when we were getting ready to leave.

"Thanks," I said quietly, grabbing the new purse I'd bought that weekend. It was tan and looked a little more grown-up than the one I carried every day. It was all part of the image I wanted to create for myself when I got up on the stand I guess.