His Weapon - Book 1 [Z.M]

XXIV

'It's a fucking list Zayn. A fucking long list that I can't even finish reading' I wanted to say but that wasn't the actual answer. I have no idea. I'm convinced that I'm not afraid of anything but my actions always mess things up. Something has to be wrong with me.
     "I have no idea what came over me, I wasn't thinking straig—"
     "You're dismissed!"
He said coldly and my words literally jumped back into my throat. I stood frozen— completely unable to move even if I wanted to.
     "And that's an order Muna. Don't make me repeat myself!"
He went back to reading his newspaper like I wasn't even there.
     I found myself walking away from him, just like that— I gave up. I went into my room and flung myself on my bed, hitting it repeatedly in frustration. I hated what we were becoming, it was sickening but it also proved to me that things hadn't changed from a week ago.
     He wasn't warning me to not speak to him in such a manner but he was retaliating. It felt different— almost like we are a real couple just having a fall out.

'You're such a waste. You just fucking walked away? You could've settled things if you had pushed a little harder and not give up like a pussy'
     I groaned and tried to push out the voices in my head. I stood to my feet suddenly— I wasn't going to let things end like this. I was going to use what he wants to get what I want. I removed my hair from its bun and ruffled it. Things were going to get cleared up today whether he wants to listen or not. All I knew was that both were going to be in my favor either way.
     I barged out of my room with confidence. As I got closer to the sitting room, I saw him sitting in the exact spot he was earlier— his head swung back and his eyes closed.
     He lifted his head and looked in my direction with furrowed brows as I got closer.
     "What's it again?"
He asked agitatedly but I ignored him. Immediately I stood before him, I straddled his lean body even though he tried to push me away.
     "What are you doing? Get off me!"
He said, holding his hands up so he wouldn't touch me. I ignored him yet again and wrapped my hands around his neck.
     "Muna you're ma—"
He began to say but I smashed my lips against his. I was pushed away immediately my lips touched his. He was willing to stand his ground of not being sexual with me but I was willing to stand mine as well.
     "Stop this—"
He said but I didn't give him a chance to finish— I smashed my lips back to his and this time he kissed back. His hands traveled to the back of my head, holding me firmly as I caressed his jaws. We were desperately hungry for each other. Our kiss was urgent— like time wasn't on our side as I tried to dominate him. His hands went from my head to my butt, he grabbed it firmly and dragged me forward so I grind against his clothed friend.
     "Uhhh."
I moaned into our kiss that was still yet to break. I began to move my lower region against him and every single time I felt him getting harder and harder.

I pulled away and stopped moving completely.
     "I didn't mean anything I said."
I said, internally praying he listens. He wasn't speaking, just staring hard at me.
     "You were right, I think I might actually be crazy—"
He brought his hands to my waist as he stared up at me. Slowly, he removed his right hand and brought it between my thighs.
     "—And I would do anything. . . uhhhuhh."
I continued to say but was interrupted by his nails digging into the flesh between my legs which forced a moan out of my lips.
     I leaned in and rested my forehead on his, our lips almost touching.
     "Anything to make this right."

ZAYN'S POV

This pass week has been one of the worst week of my life. I couldn't understand where she was coming from and that made me soo mad. I couldn't stomach the thought of her not wanting us to be the way we were becoming. I couldn't stand the thought of things going back to the way they were. I have no idea what I was feeling but it definitely wasn't something I've felt in a long long time.
     When she left the next day I thought she wasn't going to come back but she did. I wanted to hug and kiss her when she returned but I remembered she didn't want any of it. I haven't been mad at her— I've been mad at myself for wanting her the way I do now and not being able to have her. I couldn't stand being in the same room as her. The entire weekend was torture, knowing she was just a few doors away and not being able to go over and touch her.
     This made me realize something, it's really not just about sex when it comes to her like I wanted to believe. I actually crave this woman on a deeper level than just her body.
     However, I still tried to talk myself out of such a stupid conclusion.