Deep [Book One]

Thirteen

"I don't wanna fight or be at war...
With you."

Kehzia

My eyes scan over the picture several times but i know they aren't deceiving me. Right in front of me it looked like the worst betrayal. I want to scream but my voice is lost. I want to be angry but i know i don't have that kind of energy in me. I want to cry but I've shed enough tears when it came to Jason, i refuse to shed more about anything connected to him but the twisting pain in my heart brings the tears to the surface as i stare at her beautiful face next to him. Never in a million years would i have thought anyone could do something like this...fuck who was i kidding.

I'm almost certain i haven't done anything bad to deserve this level of betrayal but seemingly my life was already written and right now all i could think was, if there really is a God, why am i not being protected against all this heartache. My mind instantly goes to my confession from Erik and i's intimate pillowtalk and my heart sinks to the bottom of my feet. Was this punishment for what i did. I place Erik's phone down on the coffee table infront of me with shaking hands as my emotions threaten to take over and pick up my own as i call her again and again but no answer. By now the tears are flowing and i feel his presence in front of me, trying to calm me but it seems to not work.

"How could she do something like this?" I ask but not really posing the question to him. I felt like i was dreaming and maybe she would pop up and explain herself.

"Babe, let's just hope that there's an explanation for this." He speaks and my head snaps for the first time. I can feel a fire starting inside of me slowly.

"Explanation! There's no way to explain this SHIT!" my normally soft voice rises and i shock myself with the sudden anger that rolls off me. " this nigga is using her. That's clear to see Erik."

"His actions shouldn't concern you Keyz" he fires back, clearly agitated.

I feel my blood boil but i try to suppress my want to lash out at him. He wasn't the cause of this hostility i felt but before i can respond reasonably he opens his mouth again.

"I mean, you over him right? So what he does shouldn't bother you!" He speaks moving closer to me, staring me down. I look at Erik, dumbfounded that he couldn't see that my anger or sadness wasn't about Jason but more about Maya.

"What the hell are you even saying to me right now? I DON'T GIVE A fuck about him..." i lower my voice but before i could finish he cuts me off by firing back again. 

"SO WHY ARE YOU MAD!" The sudden anger now visible in his voice, his face holds no emotion as he looks down at me, waiting for me to defend. I can't help but flinch at his evident anger but I'm not about to let him twist this around. I suddenly walk away but he grabs me back making me face him. I refuse to look at him, not getting this entire tense situation. This was stupid and it just wasn't worth ruining my peace over.

"Answer me Kehzia." he says softly but i pull my arm away and walk off to my room not interested in whatever this was. I don't feel his presence behind me and I'm very grateful he doesn't follow me. I move to the window, letting my emotions spill over. I couldn't believe that after everything i told her about my past with Jason, she would do something like this. I couldn't believe that there was a reasonable explanation for this because she shouldn't be near him. I try to understand why Erik would question me without letting me even explain that i was more upset that Maya was clearly fooling around with Jason. It was way too early in our relationship to have heated arguments like where this would've gone but i know it's not over because he still thinks what he thinks.