When Desire Takes Over ✔... ADVICE FOR COLLEGE & UNIVERSITY STUDENTS

Love and Lust

In recent time it appears as though the entire concept of cherishing someone has been eradicated from the religion of Muhammad صلى الله عليه وسلم .Many people consider the concept of 'love' and 'lust' as something that Islam forbids in its entirety, whether it be felt inside or outside of wedlock. As Muslims have begun to adopt non Muslim customs in their weddings and marriages, we find a great loss in the etiquette of treasuring a partner as if he or she were the most prized possession in the world. However, there are narrations of the Prophet ii showing an intimate and compassionate side to his wives for a reason. These narrations could have been left hidden by Allah It but in the Prophet ii there is a man of exalted examples and in the various transmissions that are slightly private, we discover the most perfect morals and etiquettes to treat our partners with.

The feeling of love and lust is not one that is unknown to Islam. Allah says in the Qur'an,

"And it is among His signs that He has created for you wives from among yourselves, so that you may find tranquillity in them, and He has created love and kindness between you. Surely in this there are signs for a people who reflect."
(Surah Rum 30:21 )

Sheikh Muffi Muhammad Shafi' رحمة الله عليه commentates on this verse:

"The wisdom behind the creation of this particular sex (women) is said to be لتسكنواليها(so that you may find tranquillity in them). If one ponders, it becomes evident that all the requirements of men from women end up in drawing peace of mind, tranquillity and comfort."
(Ma'ariful Qur'an 6/732)

In this verse of the Qur'an, Allah refers to the relationship which emits from the relationship of marriage as something that brings love and tranquillity. On the contrary, a person who leaves the Shari'ah aspect of love and opts for lust finds his heart very heavy and tainted. Animalistic and hedonistic behaviour may provide some minor pleasure for a short period of time but it will not provide the solace and harmony created through marriage. The very foundation of fruitful love rests on a lawful marriage and without the bond of marriage; one will surely find life to be free from serenity. Cherry Norton writes as the Social Affairs Editor of 'The Independent' newspaper in 2000,

"Feeling guilty about indulging in life's pleasures can damage your health -so if you want to stay in peak condition you should adopt a more hedonistic approach, psychologists said yesterday. Research presented at the British Psychological Society's annual conference in Winchester showed that those who feel guilty about eating, drinking, smoking, watching television or having sex -suffered from a poorer immune system, making them more vulnerable to colds and flu. The findings also suggested that women felt more guilty about their indulgences and were more likely to fall ill than men."
(The Independent -Monday 171h April
2000)

Such negative attributes of l:taram love are not unknown to Islam and are mentioned in detail in the Qur'an, in Surah Yusuf  (which will be discussed in a later chapter). Haram love was also seen in the time of the Prophet (pbuh) and those blessed periods that succeeded his time; there are narrations of individuals who had carried out some improper action but it was their speciality that they would repent abundantly. In one narration mentioned in Mishkatul Masabih, a woman who committed fornication in the time of Rasulullah (Pbuh) made such repentance that Rasulullah (pbuh) himself stated, "Verily, she has repented in such a great manner that if her repentance was to be shared upon the people of Madina, it would be enough for them (to attain salvation)." The issue of forbidden love is a problem that we face today and this was also a matter that was prevalent in the periods which were rendered to be immensely blessed by the Prophet(pbuh)Quite simply, for as long as man and  women will remain on the face of this earth, the issue will remain. The reason for this is that out of all the modes of worship made accessible to mankind, only two have existed from the beginning of time and will continue to do so in to the hereafter. The first is Iman (belief in Allah ) and the second is marriage. Thus for marriage to be continued, attraction to one another must also continue and those who shun the bond of wedlock will fall in to the trap of such unwanted love.