why do you only call me when you're high? //kth

12• ..and now?

There were parts of our conversations from last night that had slipped from my memory but I could clearly remember him complaining about how I had left so abruptly last time we hooked up and how he told me not to leave again without a single word of goodbye. It had sounded like it had truly bothered him and he had meant every word of it. But now..? Hadn't he just done the exact same thing to me? What the hell.

My eyes had been glued to the damn post-it note for a good five minutes yet I couldn't describe how I felt. My head was still aching and I was cold as fuck but all my energy was currently used up, breaking my head apart over that goddamn boy.

When my mind couldn't come up with a reasonable explanation it fed me with self doubt. Did he not like last night? Maybe he woke up in the morning, sober, and realized it had all been a terrible mistake.. maybe he just didn't want to talk to me? I had thought last night went okay, he said he enjoyed himself so, why would he..?

I shook my head, tossing the note onto my desk and deciding not to ponder too much over this or think into it too deeply. I reminded myself that we didn't even really know each other. He didn't owe me anything. I had done the same to him so I had no right to feel hurt.

I slipped on underwear, a loose sweatshirt and leggings before grabbing my phone and making my way downstairs for breakfast, my stomach was growling like crazy, sounding like a sea monster of some sort. I checked the time and almost choked on my breath. 12 am, goddamn.

Fuck, fuck, fuck..

4 missed calls from Sammy, 2 from Cat and endless messages in the group chat. This time I didn't wait another second to call them back and Sammy lectured me for a good 30 minutes after she had picked up the phone, screamed death threats and cursed my existence.

"I know I promised I wouldn't do this again" I mumbled, guilt struck and feeling dumber than ever. How did I always manage to be such a shit friend? Someone should give me a prize because it felt like an actual accomplishment. I apologized a good million times before Sammy's tone started to lose some of its anger and volume. Thank god, my headache was already bad enough as it was.

"Are you home?" Sammy asked after a pause. I nodded only to mentally smack myself and reply "yeah" in a small voice.

"We're coming over. No games this time, we want the full story and nothing but the full story" with that she hung up and left me sinking down onto a kitchen chair in exhaustion. This girl could seriously drain you within minutes if she wanted.

I made some strong coffee and splashed my face with cold water in the bathroom. I looked a total mess, head a nest of tangled hair, neck splattered with hickeys and tiny pink bruises, clothes hanging off my body in no apparent shape, lips a little bruised.

What on earth had this boy done to me.. at least my face now had a healthy glow and some colour to it. I knew I didn't have long before my two personal bodyguards would come barging through the front door so I got ready as best as I could in the short time.

I put on proper clothes, tamed my hair, brushed my teeth, applied some chapstick and a shit ton of concealer to my neck because I didn't want them to notice even though Sammy had definitely meant it when she said no more games. They didn't need to know all the details if I couldn't even remember some of them myself.