The Space Between Us

Chapter Ten

I hated cancer. And I knew exactly what he was he feeling. I'd already been through it, watching my own mother die. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.

"Thanks again for coming. We'll let you know if anything else happens."

I nodded. "I'll check in with Kim in the morning."

"Okay." He reached past me and shook Craig's hand. "Thank you," he said to Craig.

"Of course," Craig said back, clasping his hand in a firm shake.

We left him standing there alone in the hallway. I felt terrible leaving him there like that, but what else could we do? We were at the mercy of time and God.

#

We didn't say a word until he'd parked his motorcycle in front of his house. He helped me with my helmet like he always did, smoothing my hair for me before gently caressing my face.

"I don't want her to die," he said so quietly I almost didn't hear him.

I nodded, dropping my forehead against his chest. I felt raw and burdened. The heaviness in me was almost too much. His arms came around me and he held me tight until we got tired from standing.

"Come on, let's get you home. You need rest."

#

Th next day, we went for a long motorcycle ride into the country. School was coming closer and closer and we wanted to savour our time together.

He'd packed another picnic with sandwiches and chips, and Ben & Jerry's ice cream, knowing how much I loved it. We sat on the blanket and ate, staring at each other.

"I'm going to miss you," I said.

"Those guys at your school better keep away from you," he teased.

"You've got nothing to worry about."

"Yeah, I think I do. I don't think you realize how beautiful you are, inside and out."

But I shook my head. "I'm not interested in those guys. You're different than them."

"How am I different?"

"You're more...I don't know...serious, I guess."

He made a 'hmph' sound, looking unimpressed. "You make me sound boring."

"No, that's not what I mean. You're...trustworthy. Dependable. Fiercely loyal. And everyone knows it. That's why you've been the captain of your football team for the last two years."

"Maybe," he said humbly.

"And besides, I don't want any other guy. I only want you," I assured him, moving closer to give him a quick kiss. He wrapped his arm around my waist and held me to him.

We were quiet for a while, enjoying the warm sun on our skin. It felt so good to be with Craig, to sit with him, even in the quiet. We were becoming more and more comfortable with each other.

"Tell me about your mom" he said softly, his chin resting on the top of my head.

I sighed deeply. I didn't even know how to begin so I stayed quiet for a long time. He gave me the time I needed.

"It was fast, really. It feels like it was over before we knew what had happened. She started feeling sick one day, tired and sore in her bones, she'd said. We all figured she was coming down with the flu. But as the days went on, we could see it was something else. It didn't go away. There was never a time after that day that she felt better. It was the beginning of the end."

I stared out at the blue sky, remembering. "It's weird, you know, when I look back on it all. We had no idea of what was to come. That we had so little time left with her. We kept hoping with this naïve hope that everything would be okay. That it was just a bad dream and we'd wake up and find things as they had once been."

"I can't imagine what that was like for you...or your dad," Craig said, resting his chin on my shoulder and staring out at nothing. I leaned the side of my head against his head.

"It was awful. It ripped me to little pieces and I've spent the last nine years putting myself back together. But I'll never be the same." I sighed again. "I don't know how I'm going to get through losing Jessie." My eyes filled with tears. "I don't want to do this again," I whispered, burying my head into the crook of Craig's neck. Maybe if I burrowed deep enough I could escape what was to come. But I knew better.

Craig wrapped his arms around me and held me tight. I nestled in closer, as close as I could get to him, and cried and cried until I had nothing left in me to cry.

Author's Note: Some parts are harder to write. I've already cried a bunch of times while writing this book. Thank you for reading! I really appreciate you. ❤️