little lights

XVI

HOW TO BE ATTRACTIVE (HAPPY): A GUIDE BY WINDYCITIES

1. Take long showers. The steam will cleanse your pores and the warmth will wrap you up like a hug, and if you've got an aversion to human interaction, hugs from inanimate objects are twice as essential to one's sanity. When you get out of the shower, look at yourself before you put on a towel or clothes. Your body is your temple, a form waiting to be shaped by your actions and thoughts. You are amazing. Living and breathing and pumping blood. Do not forget this.

2. Expand your vocabulary. Expressing your emotions is important for maintaining your mental health so make sure you've got just the right word for what you want to say. Eloquence is attractive, and expansive vocabularies could make any sexual being weak at the knees. Don't underestimate the power of the word.

3. Accept your flaws. Your crooked tooth, the weird mole on your shoulder, and the way your grin comes out a bit lopsided-- one day you will learn that these are the things that give you an identity. I can pick you out from a crowd by your big ears, and I love that about you. Wear your hair back more often, wear your glasses on a weekday, put on a pair of shorts and show off your thighs. Looking the same as everyone else would be entirely boring. Remember that individuality is sexy.

4. Smile more often. Don't give away a grin to someone that doesn't deserve it, but don't reserve all your smiles and giggles for when you're alone at night. Don't cover your mouth when you laugh at a joke, don't close your lips to hide the braces or the gap in your teeth. Anyone that cares doesn't deserve to see you so happy anyway. Emotions are important to acknowledge-- everyone likes to be reminded of just how human everyone around them is.

5. Dress for yourself, not for others. If you don't find dress codes a little bit silly, you probably play it a bit safe, clothing-wise. The rest of us don't like being pulled out of class for our spaghetti straps and leggings, and the fact that we're told five days a week not to distract straight boys from their path of becoming the next Bill Clinton, it's important to use those free days off to dress in anyway we please. Screw the opposition and wear the shortest shorts you own. Other people's definition of "good taste" should never overshadow your right to be happy and comfortable. There is no law against showing some extra skin.

6. Give more compliments. Most people like the swell in their heart when performing random acts of kindness, and a simple compliment is such a small thing that makes such a huge difference. Tell the woman at the checkout counter of the grocery store you like her earrings, and if she doesn't smile, just imagine she smiles on the inside. It'll make you feel better to watch someone else's face light up. Remember: emotions are important and essential to one's comfort.

7. Look at yourself in the mirror. Give yourself compliments, ignore the insults you might be thinking of and drown yourself in affection. You are smart, you are funny, and hot damn are you ever gorgeous! Remind yourself, at least twice a day. I could spend hours staring in the mirror, telling myself just how beautiful I am, and I would never get tired of it. Be honest: there are plenty of things you like about your reflection, even if there are things you don't. Treat yourself to a bit of self-praise and say it like you mean it-- until you actually do!

8. Sleep. Essential to health and mood, sleep is a personal favourite way to treat myself. I put extra value on staying in shape and sleep not only helps you lose weight, but boosts your mood and is downright enjoyable. Sleep in on Sundays and turn in early on Mondays. You deserve to pamper yourself with hugs from blankets. (Remember #1, inanimate object hugs are beautiful things.)

9. Set goals for yourself. Being able to check things off a checklist can give anybody that special glow. Learning new skills, writing novels, starting ambitious home improvement projects-- that sense of accomplishment radiates off a person for days and triggers something special in those around us. Inspiration may strike at any time! Don't push the urge to go go go aside. Slow work is better than no work, and keeping yourself busy makes for a glowing complexion and a lifted mood.

10. Walk around like you own the whole damn world. Even when you don't feel like you even own the clothes on your back. Pretend you are Beyonce, Joan of Arc, Frida Kahlo, Amy Poehler. You are a Leonardo DiCaprio, a Barack Obama, a Neil Armstrong, and a Nikola Tesla. You are the confident, inspirational, and intelligent people you look up to and aspire to be. You are made of all the same star matter as they were, you are capable of everything they've done. As a matter of fact, you do own the whole damn world, and you can shape it or break it in whichever ways you please, so walk like you mean it with your head held high. That, dear friends, is the most attractive thing of all.