The Number On The Napkin

34 | Aster

"Hi Alec."

"Hi, uh, sorry for exploding yesterday. And I don't feel like acting like an ass anymore, if you're wondering."

"It's...ok. It wasn't just you, I was a little...confused. When I get put on the spot I can't think clearly."

"I didn't mean to put you on the spot, I mean I know I did but...who am I kidding, I meant to put you on the spot. Daisy I just don't understand. This doesn't make any sense to me."

"I know."

"I mean I feel like it has to be some deep rooted thing or something..."

"Alec."

"Because otherwise it doesn't make sense, it really doesn't."

"Yeah, it's complicated."

"You've said that, but if it is complicated then why won't you tell me? We've told each other a lot so I don't know why this would be any different."

"It just is. This isn't like one of our chats Alec, this is real."

"Ok, but you can still tell me."

"I can't."

"I think I deserve at least a little explanation. Huh?"

"Yeah but—"

"If you are just going to completely turn me down then I deserve the reason why."

"Yes, you do deserve an explanation but I just can't give you one."

"Daisy come on. Seriously?"

"No."

"Daisy—"

"No! No! Ok, no!"

"Why not? I—I don't get it! I just don't get it Daisy!"

"Fine! You want to know? You really want to know?"

"Yes! Please!"

"Because I don't want to start something just to have it blow up in my face and then end! You can't end something that never started! Right? So I just want everything to stay the same! I want it to stay exactly as it was because it was good! Everything was fine before you started bringing this up! So I don't want to start it just to have to end it!"

"Daisy—"

"Because when it ends it will hurt! And I know because when my parents ended it tore apart their relationship, our family and my life! And I can't have that and—and have to sit there and watch it happen to us because honestly Alec you are the best thing that has ever happened to me. And—and I don't want it to end and I don't know what to do."

"But Daisy, that won't happen to us."

"How do you know that? How do you know Alec?"

"Ok...I don't know, but you don't know that it will in-fact happen to us like that either. What I do know is that this distance is going to drive me insane. And you have to understand how hard it is for me to hear that I may never even get to meet you in person. After this, I just don't think I can carry on just talking to you on the phone if I know that there is no chance for us."

"Alec..."

"I'm just being honest. You were honest with me, which I appreciate, so it's only fair if I'm honest with you."

"I—I don't know what to say. This is all just happening so suddenly."

"I know, and I'm sorry for that but I just can't be dragged along if you're sure that there will be no eventual outcome or future. That has happened to me once before and I'm not going through it again. And this time would be ten times worse because, well, it's you."

"This is...a lot to think about."

"I know. Look, you don't have to decide tonight. Just give it a few days and think about it ok?"

"So you're giving me an ultimatum?"

"No. But I can't wait around for forever."

"Seriously?"

"Yes Daisy. Seriously. The longer this gets strung along...you know you're so busy worrying about your emotions, have you even once for a second considered mine? And how much you might hurt me?"

"Of course I have. How can you even ask that?"

"It just really doesn't feel like that. Look, I have to go. Just think about it."

"I won't be able to stop thinking about it."

"Bye, Daisy."

"Bye Alec."

....................................