The Mouse and The Wolf | Gay BxB |

19. Kindness

I didn't even want you.

A silent tear ran past my cheek and I wiped it away. I had no idea if they ever found out who I was, who my mother was or if I had any relatives. Sometimes I had the feeling they did, but they didn't have the heart to tell me. "She gave you up. Your family doesn't want you. There's no one coming for you, kiddo." That was how I imagined the conversation would go if they did tell me.

"I hope you're happy now, Mom," I whispered. What broke me even more was the fact that I sincerely wished she was happy now.

*****

"Oliver?"

I snapped awake when I heard Mrs. Bundt's voice. I hadn't realized I had been so tired that I had fallen asleep. But, then again, I didn't get any sleep last night, so it wasn't a surprise.

"Aren't you supposed to be at school?" she asked silently with a worried voice.

I shook my head. I heard a sigh escaping her lips, when she walked around the bed to see my face. She then sat down on the edge of the next bed.

"I know there's something going on with you," she started hesitantly. "I wanted to give you time to come to us, but I have to ask, are you all right?"

I shook my head, and she nodded. "Would you like to talk about it?" I shook my head. "Are you not going to speak to us anymore?"

I shook my head.

She gave me a small smile and moved to sit on my bed, right next to me. I felt her hand on my shoulder. "Are you sure you don't want to talk anymore?"

I shook my head, and she moved her hand to gently push my hair out of my face. "You are a good boy, Ollie," she spoke soothingly. "You know you're not alone in this world, and whatever it is that has gotten you so upset, I want you to know that you can talk to me about anything, okay?"

How could I let her into this? She would be in trouble if I told her about Jack. She would do something and get their attention. The Black Thorns would do something to her if she raised her voice.

So... I shook my head.

She let out a deep breath again, and I knew she was disappointed that I refused to talk to her, but she didn't say it out loud. She caressed my shoulder for a moment, calming me down. I knew she was busy and had tons to do, but she still stayed with me. I really appreciated that. I guess I didn't want to be left all alone after all.

"Everything will be all right," she muttered gently. "Maybe you will let me help you soon?"

I shook my head, but I had the feeling she didn't believe me. She took a blanket from the end of my bed, and put it on me. "I'll let you sleep. The kids won't be back in a few hours so there's no one bothering you. I'll come get you when it's time to eat, okay?"

I nodded, and felt her hand going through my hair again.

"Everything will be all right. I promise," she whispered.

I wished I could believe in her words, but nothing would be all right.

*****

Later that night, I was watching cartoons with some of the kids in the living room. It was really cold inside, so we were wrapped up in blankets and had hot chocolate to drink. I couldn't quite focus on the TV. It was Jack again that was looming in the back of my mind. Soon, we would go to sleep, and then I would have to return to school. And see him. And Nick. And every other person who had suddenly noticed me and decided to make my already miserable life not worth living.

I turned to look out of the window that was just behind the couch I was sitting on with Gecko. It was snowing again. I wondered how much snow there could possibly be before we would drown in it. The limit was getting closer. The tall fences we had surrounding the yard were halfway buried in it.

It was pretty though. I just wished I could actually enjoy the view and not hallucinate new shadows lurking in the darkness. I turned my attention back to the TV, hoping I wouldn't freak out. Soon later, I realized I was staring out of the window again. I tried to turn my eyes back to the TV, but it was only seconds later when I turned to look out again.

Something was tickling at the back of my mind, and it wasn't Jack. I stood up from the couch and told Gecko I was going to use the bathroom when he asked where I was going. I didn't, though. Instead, I walked to the front door, hastily put on my shoes, before opening the door as quietly as I could.

I stepped into the cold, pulling my blanket tighter around my shoulders. I sneaked to the gates and dashed across the empty street to the first row of trees.

"Hello?" I whispered, and continued deeper into the woods as carefully as I could. The snow reached only around my ankles in there, so it was easy to move as long as I didn't disturb the big branches that were holding the snow from coming down.

I didn't have to walk more than twenty or so feet, when I could see a small figure in the darkness. I would have missed him, if his presence hadn't felt so strong inside me.

"Hi," I said carefully, when the big wolf stepped out from his hiding place. He pinned his ears down, but wagged his tail just a little, and I hoped it was his way of saying 'hi'. "Are you stalking me?" I asked partly as a joke, since I was quite sure he was not real.

He snorted at me, and stepped even closer. I kneeled down slowly, and reached out with my hand so he could sniff my scent, which he did. I couldn't help but smile. He was magnificent. His thick fur looked soft and shiny, and I could tell he was well-fed and strong. He had a little bit of white under his chin and between his toes, but otherwise he was completely black.

"Your whiskers are tickling me," I muttered when I realized it. "Doesn't that mean that you're real?"

That has never happened before. I could always tell my imaginary friends apart from real people by trying to touch them. I couldn't touch the imaginary ones. The wolf touched me with his nose. A very real nose. It was cold and wet, and I suddenly understood I was face-to-face with an actual wild wolf.

And yet, I wasn't scared. Not around him. Once again, I felt stronger, and even Jack couldn't scare me at that moment.

"I don't know what's going on, but thank you," I told the wolf quietly. "It's nice to see a friendly face..."

He let out a silent whine, when I suddenly started crying again. I hid my face behind my hands, trying to put myself back together, but for some reason, I couldn't stop crying. First Mrs. Bundt and now this wolf... their friendliness was almost too much to bear, but I didn't understand why. Maybe I was just so relieved that there still were good people – and animals – in this world. People who didn't want to hurt me.

The wolf let out another silent cry, and I could feel his nose right next to my ear. Slowly, carefully, I moved my hands around his neck and buried my face in his fur. It really was as soft as I imagined. I didn't know why I was hugging a wolf I had just met, but for some reason, I felt like it was quite all right to do so.

"Thank you," I muttered again, and the wolf sat down right in front of me, letting me bawl my eyes out in his dark fur.