Destroying Love

Twenty-one

Of course I would have. It would have been easier to believe it after a few weeks, than after a few years.

"You know how I said earlier that most people want revenge but it's useless?" he continues, looking me in the eyes. "I did want to take my revenge, after that night. I wanted to find whoever took your life and take his own. But I realized that it would be useless. You wouldn't come back."

I don't say anything. I breathe in slowly, trying to control what I feel right now. Then, I frown as I realize something.

"So that's why you told Nova that your girlfriend died," I state quietly, looking down.

He stays quiet for a moment.

"Of course," he voices slowly. Then, "You thought I said that to hurt you?"

I say nothing.

"Goddammit, Sophia." He sighs and turns towards me, his eyes burning with restrained anger. "When will you understand? I—"

Mr. Neil enters the room, cutting him off.

"Sophia," he says, looking between Brandon and I. I step away from the wall and Brandon.

"Mr. Neil, I just want to say that—"

"You're okay. That's all that matters." He pauses, walking towards me until he can place his hands on my shoulders. "I can't afford to lose my best agent."

A small smile appears on my lips, but I make it disappear before he or Brandon notice.

With a serious expression, he drops his hands. "We need to talk about what happened. The Bird—"

"And why I went out last night?" I intertwine my fingers together, taking a deep breath.

Garry frowns slightly, pushing his glasses up his bridge.

"I think I'll leave you two alone, then," Brandon announces, straightening. He was still leaning against the wall, his arms crossed.

He starts to walk away after nodding to Mr. Neil. I don't even question myself when I grab his arm to stop him.

"Stay," I say.

I can tell he's surprised by my demand. Both of them are.

Me, brave? Definitely not. I can't even face Mr. Neil alone for what's coming.

However, Brandon doesn't leave like I thought he would. He walks back to his spot against the wall and turns towards us. Giving us some space, but still staying here, silently encouraging me to tell the truth.

I take a deep breath and look at Mr. Neil. Then I say everything about my mission involving my supposedly dead father. All my researches, all my pictures, all my nights out, everything.

I'm ashamed to say that I can't even look him in the eyes while I speak. Maybe because lying to the only man who acted like a father to me is somehow the worst thing that I could do. One of the only thing that could really make me feel something.

Shame. And pain.

Mr. Neil listens. I can't tell if he's ashamed, too. If he's angry, disappointed by me. But at the end of my speech, after I finally said everything, leaving me breathless with a hole in my stomach, feeling like I am nothing now that I don't have any secrets and like lies were the only thing filling me until now, Mr. Neil just smiles.