Destroying Love

Twenty-five

I hug my jacket closer to my body and walk towards her. It's only early September, but it feels like fall is already there and it's chilly outside.

Four days ago, it wasn't that chilly. But four days ago, everything was different. Somehow, it feels like everything has changed, but I have no idea what did and what else stayed the same.

I sit on the bench. Hanna turns her head towards me, her eyes widening. She relaxes when she notices it's me.

She looks better than yesterday. Her hair looks fresh and curlier, and she applied a bit of mascara. There's still a bruise that I can see on her cheek. There's a tiredness present, and a bit of confusion in her features.

"Hey," I say after a few seconds of hesitation, turning towards her.

Hanna looks at me for a moment before she opens her mouth. "So you're an agent," she states calmly, eyeing me.

I stay quiet, not knowing what to reply. I just nod to the obvious.

Hanna smiles a little. "I knew you were different. I just didn't know what really differentiated you from the others. I mean, you were clearly stronger and not afraid at all of the situation."

"That's not totally true," I finally say, shaking my head. Hanna furrows her eyebrows. I continue. "I wasn't not afraid. And I do have fears. I just... keep that to myself."

"Well, If I've noticed something, is how afraid you are to open up to someone." She pauses, looking back in front of her. "But maybe I'm wrong."

No need to lie here. "That's kind of true. Consider yourself lucky. As an agent, I think I opened up to you more than I probably should have."

"Why?" she demands, genuinely curious.

I thought about that before and the truth is that I don't know myself. I could have talked to anybody in that room, but Hanna was there and somehow, I felt she was different.

"I don't know," I reply, shaking my head. "I'm sorry you were kept in there, and I'm sorry for all of these women, too. I hope they'll be okay."

"Because of you, they will."

I let out a dry laugh, looking ahead of me. Kids play in the park. They look so happy, have no care in the world, and they certainly don't know how this world is a fucked up place and is crueler than what it seems. "I didn't do anything."

"You saved them from another day in hell," Hanna says, her voice louder than earlier. I glance at her to see her green eyes filled with sincerity and determination.

Not wanting to talk about that, I shake my head and change the subject. "What are you going to do now?"

Hanna tenses and crosses her arms. She sighs and smiles a little. "I'll try to go back to my normal life. I guess."

"And what do you do?"

"I try to be a writer? Kind of." She laughs, shaking her head. "I think my future is kind of messy."

So is mine. That is if I even have a future. I don't like thinking about it, because with the life I have, who knows how many tomorrows I have left?

"You have a boyfriend?" I continue, and then realize how none of this is my business. She could ask about my own life, but she doesn't. Since she knows about what I do, she doesn't even question me with anything else. I kind of appreciate it.