Destroying Love

Twenty-one

"It doesn't make any sense." I shake my head slowly, taking a step back. "What do you mean, you thought I was dead?"

Brandon sighs, running a hand through his hair. When his eyes meet mine again, he's dead serious.

"Four years ago, when the East Agency found me, they thought it was a better idea to not tell the North Agency about me being alive. It would be dangerous for Vincent Alvarado or his men to find me, once they realized I wasn't dead."

"Yeah, that's what you told us already." I cross my arms, frowning.

He takes a breath before continuing.

"Once I recovered from my injuries, I asked them what happened to you." He pauses, staring at me intensely. "They told me you died."

I shake my head, pacing back and forth in front of him.

"Why would they tell you that?" I ask finally, glancing in his direction.

He shrugs, his jaw clenched. "I don't know, maybe they really thought..."

I keep pacing, shaking my head to myself. With everything, I've never thought about that East Agency again.

Something doesn't make sense.

How did they supposedly know if I was dead or not? To be able to say that, they needed to find my body. But clearly, they didn't, because I didn't see them that night, saving Brandon.

I was already gone.

Leaning against the wall, I rub my eyes. Then look up at Brandon, who's watching me with a careful expression.

"And you believed them?" I mutter after a while, clenching my hands into fists.

Brandon walks towards me slowly, like he's scared that I'll run away.

"At first, I didn't want to." He leans against the wall next to me, his arms falling to his side. One wrong move and his fingers will brush mine. "I tried to text your phone number, and when I didn't get any reply... what was I supposed to do?"

I try to ignore how his voice breaks at the end as if talking about this is painful.

It should be for me, too. But I guess I got used to the pain.

"I wanted to find you," he continues, clearing his throat. "I wanted to go back to the NA, but I couldn't. The East Agency wouldn't let me, anyway."

A few moments pass before I find the strength to say the next words.

"I... changed my phone number, just after you died."

I close my eyes. I only hear my breathing and his own. I feel a little dizzy when his fingers brush mine, sending a shiver through me.

"I know," he says quietly. "It's okay, I guess. You would have probably freaked out and never believed it if somehow, your dead boyfriend texted you."

I glance at him. He blinks in surprise. I guess my stare is intense.

I would. I would have believed it, goddammit.