Thinking.(Naruto)

Chapter Fifteen

It's easy to forget, but hard to forgive. That is all Naruto has ever known. It is said that those who forgive and forget are the kindest of people, but in reality that means nothing. Those who forgive are strong people, those who forget are wise people. You can assign many labels to the term forgive and forget. Naruto tends to think of it as forgiveness on the terms of forgetting sometime within the future. He thinks people who forgive are kind and those who forget are fools. These are principles in which he lives by, he forgives the villagers for everything they do to him out of the kindness of his heart, and yet he never forgets because he knows that when he does he will become a different person. So when Naruto forgives the people who broke into his apartment and trashed it,it's no real surprise to anyone aside from Sasuke who just can't seem to grasp this concept of forgiveness. Sakura seems to get it the most, she forgives people,although stubbornly if he might add, quite frequently. Sakura is the most understanding out of all of them, or as goes his opinion. So when Sakura shows up at his doorstep Saturday morning to "talk" he's quite surprised.
        Sakura is also quite surprised to be standing at Naruto's doorstep herself. Although she just had this sort of feeling weighing her down and she had some suspicions about Naruto and Sasuke that she thought to bring to light before saying something accidentally. "Naruto?" Sakura says softly. Bringing up her hand to the door she softly knocks. "It's me, Sakura, can we talk?" With the flick of some locks and some slight shuffling noise the door opens to reveal a slightly disheveled Naruto in what seems to be Uchiha Clan pajamas. "Sakura-Chan?" He yawns out. Sakura, who is brightly smiling at him, tilts her head politely and pulls a bag of cookies from the bag around her waist. "Can I come in?" She asks. "Oh yeah, of course!" Naruto slides aside and allows Sakura to enter, most of his house is not repaired aside from a rather large hole in the wall, but you know that's not the main issue currently. After taking a seat on the remains of Naruto's table her face drops slightly. "I actually needed to talk to you about a few things," she begins. "Go ahead, ask away Sakura-Chan!" It's quiet for a moment and within this silence Naruto's heart is racing. His hands are clammy and shaky and his breaths are uneven.
        It takes her a moment, to compose herself of course, and then she breathes out,"What is going on between you and Sasuke?" Naruto's heart is now in his stomach. What does he say? Would Sasuke be mad if he told her? Does he tell her about everything that's gone on so far? Swallowing he shakily smiles at her. "What do you mean Sakura-Chan? There's nothing going on." He says furrowing his brows in fake confusion. "Naruto I'm not an idiot, I can see you guys have gotten closer." Sakura says rather bluntly. "I don't know what you mean though, Sasuke and I are the same as always." At this point Sakura is slightly discouraged at his answers.
It's quiet for another moment and then she breaths out a soft," Do you not trust me?" That's all it takes to completely still Naruto in his tracks. "That's not what I said-", "if you don't trust me than I understand.... it just hurts my feelings is all. I thought we could tell each other everything...." Naruto's face forms into one wearing a sorrowful expression. "Of course I trust you. I-I just...this isn't something that can come out so easily.... I just- I'm scared." He whispers, eyes stinging slightly from tears that are trying to be held in. "Naruto, you know I won't judge you. I'm your friend, your teammate, I'm family." So this is where the truth comes out. This is where things come out and everyone is super happy and things are dandy and perfect... or at least in fairy tales it is.
        "I'm gay, me and Sasuke are together, we've been dating for a while now." The air is sucked out of Sakura. She's over Sasuke... so then why does her chest feel so tight? Why are her eyes slightly stinging? She doesn't even like Sasuke like that.... right? "You-You're dating Sasuke?" She breathes. "Yes.. are you-.... are you mad?"Naruto says softly cowering before her. Her heart aches, she wants to cry, or yell, but instead she shakes her head. "No, I'm not mad." Comes out colder than expected. "Sakura are you sure you don't sound like you aren't mad-?" Sakura stands defensively and pushes her hands against the wooden coffee table. "I'm not mad."
      There is tension in the air. No one speaks for what seems like forever. "I gotta go." Sakura says and pushes the chair in hurriedly while running out the door. "Sakura-Chan wait!-" Sakura is already gone though. Naruto's heart feels empty, and his stomach aches with dread and anxiety. Shakily Naruto sits down and dials Sasuke's home phone. It only takes a couple rings for Sasuke to answer. "Sup dobe?" Theres a sniffle and automatically Sasuke is alarmed. "Hey? Are you crying?! What's wrong?" Naruto suddenly can't hold it in anymore. "Sasuke-.. Sakura- She came over and-and-" he hiccuped barely able to calm himself. "Hey, hey breathe, it's okay I'll be right there okay? I'm coming over." The phone hangs up and leaves Naruto curled in on himself. The sound of his sobs echo and bounce off the walls. He doesn't even know why he's crying? Maybe he's just stressed out? He's not sure, there's just this feeling in his stomach that he can't ignore, this feeling telling him that this is the start to another problem.
Sasuke arrives 10 minutes later and let's himself in. As soon as he sees Naruto with his knees to his chest sitting on the floor he runs right over. "Hey," he whispers. "Hey it's okay, I'm here. What's wrong?" It's quiet for a moment and this worries Sasuke. "Hey, Naruto look at me, please." Naruto lifts his head and looks at Sasuke with red puffy eyes, tears rolling down his cheeks. " Both of Sasuke's hands find their way to the sides of Naruto's cheeks, wiping his tears with his thumbs. "Hey... it's okay, c'mere." Pulling Naruto into a hug they sit there together.

Sasuke feels dread inside his stomach, but all he can do is be here for Naruto, like he always will be.

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THE UPDATE IS FINALLY UP! Sorry it took so long, god I've been busy and I've been so tired. School is exhausting and I'm so tempted to drop out. But enough about me. There might be a second update this week cause I think I'll have enough time. :).

Quote of the day: The hesitation will be quiet. It will come when you least expect it. It will rise from the depths of your aching soul and settle in your heart as three words.
      "I Deserve Better."