Stockholm

5

"You poisoned me?" I already felt the effects of it, my head starting to bob, and become cloudy.

"No, I'm taking care of you."

I didn't feel strong enough to reply, my head was fogged, and my body became weak again. I slowly let my eyes close, my temper suddenly gone. All the will power I had to fight back vanished, I just needed to obey him, and good things would happen.

When I woke up again the alarms told me it was the next day, I felt stronger, and more collected. The sun shone in my room and I was able to move my head and figure things out. Casper had brought up so many things I could barely keep track of them, Joel drugged me, which was another thing. If I had just stayed seated maybe I'd be okay, maybe I'd be happier. I just need to obey. I just need to obey.

I swung the door open and quickly left my room, down stairs stood Joel with a little bowl of cereal in his hand. He offered it to me but I refused after the last time I ate something he gave me I passed out for a day. "It's not drugged Charley."

"And how do I know that?" I replied, crossing my arms refusing to take the bowl, Joel sighed and took the spoon and ate some himself. He then placed the bowl back on the counter in front of where I sat and sat next to me.

"How are you feeling," he asked, seemingly genuinely interested.

"Fine," I pushed my cereal around in the bowl with my spoon, the Cheerios swaying with the milk.

"I know these couple of days have been tough but I think the worst of it is done. It's going to be better now." I just nodded my head and took a bite of the cereal.

"Casper spoke of your "family traditions," what are they?" I asked, Joel refused to look at me and shook his head.

"Charley, I'm not going to tell you you're not ready."

"I think I'll be a lot faster at fitting in here when I hear them."

"No."

I dropped the spoon in the bowl, "What do you mean "no" why can't I know?" I glared at him, my palms flat on the counter.

"You won't be happy when I tell you," he said, staring me down for my defiance.

"Joel, I'm not happy now!" I screamed at him. He sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose before rubbing his face with his hands. He grabbed the sides of my arms squeezing them and turning me to face him,

"Fine, you want to know? I'll tell you, but you cannot act up again. I'm done okay?" I was scared, his serious tone was threatening. I nodded my head okay in fear of being hurt.

"For generations my family has done things differently. We have these rules, and we must respect these rules." I felt him hesitate a little, but nervously I listened, "God how do I put this lightly....When every boy in the household turns 18 he has to start looking for his perfect match, to keep our bloodline alive. We spend a couple of years trying to find the one, and when we do. We marry them and they become... ours." Joel could barely say the last word and look me in the eyes. I was still trying to wrap my head around everything he was saying. I could tell it wasn't the full story but at this point I wasn't sure I wanted to hear the whole story.

"So you kidnap girls and make them become your wife then... what?" I interrupted.

"We have kids and live as a happy family."

"Your whole family has been doing this for years?" I could feel myself get upset but I couldn't do anything about my feelings but suppress them.

"Its tradition," I searched Joel's face for any sign of deception, but he was still. I tried to blink away a tear but it found its way on my cheek. Joel reach up to wipe it away but I smacked his hand away and quickly stood up rushing to the other side of the room.

"It was tradition to keep slaves!! It was tradition to burn LGBT people and stone them! Just because it's fucking tradition doesn't make it any more okay!" I screamed at him.

"Charley, you can't seriously be mad. You are happy here, with me."

I felt the walls fall apart in my mind. The forced twig walls built to keep me happy and away from the truth. I suddenly saw all my delusions. Staying with him. Being kidnapped.

"Charley please," Joel's touch on my arm brought me back to reality, in a state of anger and panic I grabbed a pan off the counter and threw it at him.

"Get the fuck away from me!" I screamed, grabbing the lamp next and chucking it at Joel as hard as I could. I didn't wait to see what happened but instead ran upstairs as fast as I could. I quickly got to my room, Joel shouting behind me. I ran to the dresser struggling to flip it on its side then barring the door. Joel's fist hammered against the door as he shouted profanities. I sobbed with my back to my dresser. I don't know if it was because of fear or the realization of what I was.

Kidnapped.

I quickly pulled myself together and went to my bed, the dresser rattling against the door as it was being pushed open and closed repeatedly. I shoved the bed to the door efficiently shutting Joel out. I wiped the tears from my face and collapsed on the floor, the adrenaline was fleeting my body in amounts I could no longer handle. Joel's once loud screams and bangs got quieter and quieter until they vanished. I was alone.

I lay on the floor for hours. Empty. Drained. Unable to feel. I could no longer cry. I just lay there, not thinking about anything in particular. My thoughts just came and went as they pleased, their own control hopeless as me.

Maybe if I fought a little harder. Maybe If I screamed a little louder. Maybe If I was a little smarter.

Maybe.

Updated as of: July 11, 2020