Love Square

Chapter 5: Stupid Me

Every saturday morning I tried to start my day off with a jog. Though I was meeting Ryan, I wanted to clear my mind. I washed my face, brushed my teeth, and put my hair in a puffball on the top of my head. Ruffling in my drawers, I found my gray jogging shorts and pink sports bra. Sliding socks on my feet, I placed my gray & pink Nike running shoes on. Once I finished dressing, I made my way downstairs and out the back door. Before running I put my earbuds in, stretched, then slowly started down the driveway.

In the beginning of my jog I didn't think, but listened to the music blasting in my ears. Yet, my mind couldn't help but wonder to the mysterious Ryan Lucket. I don't understand him, one minute everything's perfectly fine, then next minute he's yelling at me. Can I be that annoying? At first I thought he was flirting with me than again maybe he was just being nice. Then he cursed me out on the stairs, said sorry, yelled at me yesterday for wanting to talk to him, then tried to apologize. What the hell? I don't want to think too much about it but fuck...I'm extremely attracted to him. 

Those blue eyes, that smooth skin, big hands, plump lips, white teeth, muscular body, and those tattoos. I can't help but want to know more about him, but I want to stop being attracted to him. Ryan obviously doesn't want to waste anytime on me. Plus, I have Vonté and he's not ugly at all. He's funny, cool, caring, and smart. 

Though he's awesome, I feel like something is wrong. Like the way he roughly pulled me out of the bathroom, he marked my arm. Also he definitely wants sex and I'm not the one. I like when guys are dominate or even a little rough..but I just don't like when they seem so sex needy. It was completely spontaneous for him to surprise me like that....but shit, I'm not your girlfriend. What are we though? I would enjoy if he asked me to be his girl, yet I don't know if he will. Until I know how he feels about me, I can't kiss him anymore, at least not until I know what we are.

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Before I knew it, I checked my phone and realized it was 7:56. I ran back to the house and made my way to my bedroom to fix myself up. Cutting it so close to 8:00, I decided I would just dry myself off and leave. Jumping in the car, I made my way to Starbucks. Pulling up, I quickly found myself a parking space. For some reason I could feel a knot in my stomach forming, an aching but not with pain, maybe excitement...even nervousness? I can't believe how I sound right now. Ryan speaks to me all crazy, hasn't said a word to me before this and I can't help but feel some strong connection. 

I don't want to feel it, however I can't help the way I feel when thinking of him. I continued to sit in the car trying my best to get control. The jogging then running, and now my heart is beating a little bit faster thinking of him. Breath, breath........ After taking a few more deep breaths, I found myself getting out of my car and walking toward the front door. I slowly reached for the door handle while taking another deep breath. Right at that moment I remembered I didn't grab my notes. Zooming back to my car, I unlocked my door then I felt a hand grabbing my arm and forcing my body to turn toward them.

"Were you leaving?" The words coming out so smoothly. I couldn't help but invertedly moan to the deepness of his voice.

"I-I for-forgot my bag." I responded scared to look in his eyes. Knowing if I did, my panties would be soaking.

"Want me to ride with you?" Can I ride you? Was the only thing I could think to say.

"Uhh...I can go by myself." I said hurrying to open my door. Ryan pressed his body into my side, lightly placing his hand on my waist.

"I'm coming..." He seemed to say in the most sexual way. His hot breath hitting down the side of my face and rolling down my neck. I bit my bottom lip, stopping myself from moaning out loud.

"You don't have t-"

"I am." He forcefully said, gripping onto my waist harder.

"Ok." I unlocked the doors for the both of us.