Reloved (James Griffin x Reader)

:1: Kom ihåg min historia

*chapter titles are in swedish. The translations will be at the being of each chapter*

-Remember My Story-

~

Sometimes someone hurts you so bad, it stops hurting at all.

I sat on the railing of the bridge, watching the water flow beneath me. Low-key debating on jumping, though I knew that wasn't the answer. At least, I didn't want it to be, no matter how tempting it was. The cold, black water engulfing me like a massive blanket. Reluctantly, I was replaying my life through my mind like some kind of twisted documentary.

I remember my brother and I were separated at a young age when dad died in that fire. He did everything he could to keep them from taking me away.

"Stop! No, please! She's all I have left, PLEASE!"

"Keith!!"

"(Y/n)!! Please, she's gonna be so scared all alone!!! Please don't take her away from me!!"

"KEITH!!"

"(Y/N)!!!!"

Tears dripped down off my cheeks on to my black pants. The sleeves of the (F/C) four-sizes-too-big-for-me hoodie that covered my corpse-cold hands helped wipe them away, smearing my eyeliner but I didn't care. It made sheer black tracks down my cheeks anyway. I couldn't hide the fact that I had been crying earlier.

Those sleeves... also covered the many scars that travel up and down my arms. I  don't have to roll them up to see them. The pain showed through them as the movie played on.

I was adopted by a family that was awful and only adopted me for the money the state gave to take care of me. I was hardly allowed to do anything and one day I got fed up with their shitty music and threw their radio off the balcony.

"NO!" I kicked and fought but the woman's grip was too strong.

"Yes! You know better than that!"

"NO!! NO!" She forced me into the shower, turned on freezing cold water and held up my face as she dumped soap into my eyes, "AAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!"

More tears but this time I didn't bother to wipe them away. I could do nothing but lament.

"Get on the ground!!" The police officer yelled in a booming voice as he pushed the woman down to the floor and another officer grabbed me and put me out in the police car. Someone had called them and got me out of there. I'm grateful for it, but at the same time, I didn't want to go through all the toture of finding a new family again.

Fast-forward a few years and I was adopted for the fifth time by a single lady named Kyra, she was sweet but as much as I've been moved... between the families I learned not to trust. She got me a dress and all it did was take me back to my previous family. The mother couldn't have children and really wanted one but her husband didn't want kids and didn't want to put up with me. I kept hearing his words and I just lost it.

"I don't care about your stupid dress!!!"

"(Y/N), please-"

"I don't care!! I hate you!!"

"(Y/N)-"

"I HATE YOU!! I HATE YOU!!"

One time when I was in middle school, I found out Keith went to the same one and his foster parents were on the other side of town from me. Kyra and Dan and Ryan, Keith's foster parents,  met up and arranged days we could hang out.

I looked across the hallway into another classroom from my desk. My math paper in front of me was no longer important, especially when a familiar face walked across the classroom I was staring into, heading for what I assumed was his desk.

I leaped out of my seat and bolted across the hall. Once into the classroom, I started screaming,

"Keith! KEITH!! KEITH, IT'S ME, (Y/N)!!"

"(Y/N)!!" He dropped his paper and ran at me, embracing me in a hug I still considered the best hug I've ever received to this very day.

Every day from that point on was the best day of my life. I got to see my brother every day and I got to hang out with him every weekend. I was so happy and so was Keith. Everything was slowly turning back to being okay again. I started to trust this new life.

But of course, someone else makes a decision and leaves me all alone to figure it out.

I walked down the hallway to Kyra's classroom where she taught and saw someone else at her desk,

"Oh, where's Kyra?"

"She went home early. I think she went to Ryan's house to do something."

"Oh," I left and once out the doors I sprinted all the way to Dan and Ryan's house. Panic rose in my chest. I did remember that Dan and Ryan had been arguing lately. Dan had full custody of  Keith. If they broke up and Dan left town...

 I burst through the door and started looking for Keith,

"Keith?" I checked the kitchen. Not there.

"Keith?" I checked his bedroom. No luck.

"Keith?!" I checked Ryan and Dan's room. Ryan was in there, but no Keith.

"KEITH?!!" I started crying.

"(Y/N), wait-" Ryan grabbed me, trying to stop me but I fought.

"KEITH!!!"

"(Y/N), stop! Listen to me!" I pushed Ryan away.

"KEITH!!!!!!"

"It all happened so fast, I didn't have time to tell you!-"

When I finally come close, it starts all over again.

I felt numb but I can't be numb because I thought numbness wasn't supposed to hurt. I feel nothing and something all at once. Maybe I'm so used to it, it hardly affects me anymore. I remember sitting at my desk in my room crying. I also remember very well the next day.

I charged into Kyra's classroom and threw my bookbag at her with all the force I could give. I exploded inside. I lost my mind.

"It's all your fault!!" I slid my arm over her teacher's desk and cleared it.

"IT"S ALL YOUR FAULT!!!!" I started throwing books off of shelves and knocking more stuff over.

"IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT!!!!!!!"

"(Y/N)!"

I just kept repeating the same line over and over while Kyra and another teacher that rushed into the classroom after me grabbed me to get me to stop. I dropped to the floor, stopped fighting and just sat there while the students in front of me looked on. Kyra brushed a hand through my hair and I slapped it away. I pushed on her, trying to get her away from me while screaming at her not to touch me and to go and leave me alone.

This is torture. Hell. No place I want to exist. The life I picture when I close my eyes is different from the one I see now. In the life I see, I know my mother, my dad is still here and so is my brother, Keith. I open my eyes and I see the water below me.

I am unseen. Unheard. Unwanted. That is what I am if I am truly anything.

I swung my legs over the railing and started back to Kyra's house again. It's been 8 years and I still can't come to call the place home.