Stockholm

4

Somehow the day passed, Joel had filled it with activities. I had to fill my dresser with the pjs Joel bought all varying in warmth and size. He bought many toiletries and brought up his mother one again telling me she showed him what to buy. I couldn't stand the silence, and the fact that he knew everything about me and I knew nothing about him, I asked about his mother hoping it would reveal anything about him.

"What's your mother like?"

"She was like you once, when she was younger. Unlike you though, she grew up and respected my family's tradition and eventually married my father. She was quite the runner and that made it quite hard for my father in the beginning." His answer led to more questions than answers so I dropped the topic and let the silence take over.

Joel's cell phone abruptly started ringing from his back pocket, he gave me an apologetic smile before taking it. I remained silent for a second then began thinking. Whoever is on the other side of the cell phone can hear me. I stared at Joel's back before charging. I jumped on Joel's back and snatched the phone from his hand. I started to scream my help and desperate cries for someone to save me.

Joel flipped me over his shoulder on the cold wooden ground, I groaned and rolled on my side. Joel's hands grabbed my throat once again but this time instead of choking me out he only pinned me down. His hands change form my neck to holding my wrists above my head with one hand and the other pinning my hips.

I stare at him scared of what to do. I am a deer staring into the eyes of the hunter. He stares me down but instead of saying anything he starts to laugh. "Oh Charley, when will you learn." He looked at the shattered phone laying next to him. He shook his head and slowly got off of me. I stayed on the ground, trying to control my breathing. What was I thinking? I saw how strong he was... I could never beat him.

"My brother is coming over for dinner" Joel grabbed his phone and pocketed it, he then held his hand out to help me up. I stared at it for a second before turning onto my stomach and lifting myself up.

His brother was coming over, maybe he could see Joel was deranged and save me... or he was as fucked up as Joel is. God I'm a mess, I have healing bruises around my throat and arms, and I desperately needed a shower. I felt dirty and I wanted to wash my hair, have it smell of strawberries and for my legs to be smooth again.

"He is arriving at four, I will have your shower ready by 12." Joel muttered walking up the stairs, I hung my head. I could tell I had disappointed him. A pit in my stomach grew as the guilt for attacking him once again ate away at me.

God what was I thinking? Joel kidnapped me! I shouldn't feel bad for making him mad. He has no right to be mad at me. I sighed and put my head in my hands. I am so much more, I can't be having feelings for this man. I don't want to make him happy. I need to get out.

I wiped away the accidental tear I let out, God save me.

Joel didn't return down stairs until I had long fallen asleep on the couch, the tv softly playing the news in the background. He softly shook me awake and led me upstairs to the bathroom. It was decorated nicely, much nicer than my bathroom at home. I didn't say anything to Joel, I could still feel the shame of my actions and his anger.

Joel offered me a towel then removed himself from the room, saying he had to get ready himself. I nodded my head and turned around hugging the towel to my chest, when I heard the door shut I sighed and placed the towel on one of the shelves.

I washed myself thoroughly, letting the conditioner set in my hair, and using the razors Joel had kindly bought for me on my legs and under arms. I breathed under the scalding water, the steam filling the room. This was my time, I was alone. I knew Joel would do things but I doubted he would ever walk in on me in the shower on purpose. I could feel the water beat against my back, I looked down my body and saw the healing bruises. My yellow-ish skin was the only evidence of any harm.