Spencer Reid | One Shots

the "i" in lie

I take a seat at the end of the bed again, wiping off my cheeks. "Ryan broke up with me because I gained twelve pounds and I 'look gross' and I'm 'getting fat'." I put air quotes around the things he said.

"What? First of all, twelve pounds up from what you were isn't a bad thing. For your height, that's still in the healthy weight range. And you don't look gross. Ryan's just an asshole,"

I shake my head and give a shrug. "He's right,"

My colleague takes a seat next to me. "He's not, Y/N. Believe me, you're gorgeous."

"I don't need you to lie to me to make me feel better, alright?" The words come out a little bit harsh. "I can take it."

"I'm not lying to you, I promise. I think you're a beautiful woman and...one day someone is going to love you the way that you deserve to be loved,"

For some reason, that strikes a chord with me. I turn my head to look at him and his brown eyes meet mine.

My eyes flick down to his lips for a split second before looking back into his eyes.

Stop it, Y/N.

My body betrays me and takes over somehow, despite me knowing it's wrong, I end up bringing my lips to his. When I realize what I did I pull away from him, hopping off of the bed and cover my mouth.

I can't believe I did that. I can't believe I just fucking did that.

"I'm so sorry, I am so sorry, I..." I say into my hand, shaking my head as I keep my eyes shut tight and back further and further away.

When my feet hit my shoes, I open my eyes and turn to face away from Spencer to slip them on.

"I'm just...I'm gonna call a cab. And I'm gonna get out-"

A hand on my shoulder swiftly spins me around and a pair of lips are on mine again, cutting me off. Spencer backs me against the wall, wasting no time in deepening the kiss. Our mouths move together hungrily, like our lives depend on it. Like time's running out. His hands rest on either side of my face.

Whatever this is... it doesn't feel right.

Baby, think about your kids.

You're not putting up a fight.

Spencer moves his hands to the buttons of my cardigan and undoes them slowly.

I don't fight it, and I don't know why. I should be. I shouldn't be letting this continue...but I want it so bad. I want him so bad. I have for a long time.

In no time, he's got my top off and my bra. He hooks an arm around my waist and pulls me up against him. I can feel how hard he is on the bottom of my stomach.

Cause we could make love tonight,

but you're gonna hate yourself in the morning light.

So, just stop..

Breathe...

Count to three...

Get your head right.

-

It didn't happen just that time. Any moment we're alone, we're all over each other. We're craving each other's company, craving each other's touch.

Secret rendezvous start to happen...

Spencer stands outside my door, flowers in hand. I'm quick to pull him inside and bring my lips to his. He responds immediately, tossing the flowers onto the couch and going for my clothes.

I put the "I" in lie, 'cause I'm a cheat.

I'm a cheat.

And baby... bang, bang! Kiss, kiss!

"You and I gotta put an end to this," I whisper to him, pulling away just slightly. The guilt overtakes me just as it does every single time.

I wonder if he feels guilty...

He just nods before bringing his lips back to mine and undoing the button on my pants.

So, we cheat, cheat, cheat.

I'm a cheat.

It's intimate, as always. Spencer's hands roam my body and his lips follow them, leaving a kiss on almost every inch of my skin. Loving me, worshipping me. And his lips find their way back to mine as our bodies move together. Love? Maybe not...

It's just lust. Nothing to write home about.

It just trust. Nothing to be messed around with.

When Spencer lays down next to me after we're both finished, I feel the guilt rushing through my veins.

It might have felt good for a minute,

but admit it to yourself it ain't right...

He snuggles up behind me, laying his arm over my waist.

When you're sleeping with your lover, but you're living with your wife.

"Last time...we can't do this anymore," I tell him, feeling horrible and dirty.

He leaves a kiss on my shoulder. "Last time," He agrees, even though we both know that it's not the last time.

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