SONGS OF OURSELVES

❦ personal

"Hysterical. All solid guesses, but my crime was actually nepoticide," Xosa crushed a redberry between his teeth and the juice slathered his jaw like jelly. "I ate his son."

Sunkanmi nearly twisted her ankle on a root. "You did what?"

"The last time I was in Samsxal, I gobbled up Poallu's newborn son. Devoured him. I was starving for a sacrifice and the little boy was ripe for picking."

"But... but how is that possible? Gods don't-"

"Lie with humans? Yeah, I know. A golden rule none of us are particularly good at following, least of all my brother. Only this time there was physical proof. A whole baby. Apparently digesting your nephew is a punishable offense in the immortal realm, but adultery, larceny, torture, sadism, and general mischief are perfectly fine if you know the right people."

Sunkanmi was aghast.

"I used to pray to you all. Maybe not you specifically, but to the idea of you. You're supposed to be better than us. You're supposed to protect us."

Xosa shrugged and turned his face up to the sky as they walked. "Glad you came to your senses. Your pretty little republic will come out on the right side of history when all of this is over. Mortals don't need us anyways. Never have, and never will."

She mulled on this for a bit before asking, "Do you even listen when we speak to you? Ask you for help? Give thanks?"

If Sunkanmi wasn't paying attention, she would've missed Xosa's eyes flare like the bluest core of a flame.

"We hear everything you say," a pause. "Even if we don't want to."

(especially when we don't want to.)

Silence carried the conversation.

And then, "Why? Why did you do it?"

Xosa groaned. "This again?"

"You ate a child, I'm sorry if I have concerns about the quality of person I'm chained to."

"I was hungry. I was almost on empty and the kid was convenient."

Sunkanmi climbed over a short stack of rocks, huffing. "That can't be it."

The god threw her a sidelong glance.

(she's too perceptive.)

"You're awfully confident for someone who wasn't there."

"Trust me, I've met hard-hearts and you're not the type. Back in the temple, you didn't fight me until you had to. And you hid from me at first. When I jerked your chain in the tomb you could've jerked back, but you didn't. I seriously doubt you'd hurt a child, much less your own flesh and blood."

Xosa barked a laugh, glad the canopy overhead shaded his shock.

(oh... my god.)

"That's a neat character analysis, but you don't know a damn thing about me, sweetie."

"Before this is over, I'll know you well enough to exploit your insecurities and childhood trauma over afternoon tea, sweetie," and that was a promise. "It's what I'm good at."

His laughter was like a symphony of gongs. Or a rushing river. Too much, too loud, too fast.

"Gosh, you really are an angel in disguise, huh? Beloved by peasants wherever you roam. Is this what you do in your spare time when you're not tormenting God-fearing villagers?"

[You hit a nerve. You got too close. He's goading you. Pushing back.]

Sunkanmi hid her grin. No, she couldn't hurt Xosa physically, but his mind, emotions, and spirit were a feast to dissect. He was a bug squirming under her microscope. Caught and pinned.

It felt good to have the upper hand, for once.

"Hey, you know what?" she slid her hands in her pockets, mimicking his false calm. "Let's play the quiet game. Only players under eighty can talk."

"Seven minutes in and she's already calling me geriatric. You must be desperate."

"Ouch, looks like I win this round old man," Sunkanmi strode ahead with sure steps. "Try again next time."

Maybe someday Sunkanmi would address the whole 'twin-flame soulmates fated hearts' issue without dying inside, but for now, she contented herself with this mental tug-of-war, outwitting and outsmarting until he begged defeat.

She reasoned it was safer, in the long run, to not even acknowledge the possibility of their spiritual bond. To keep playing this dangerous game.

Because if Sunkanmi and Xosa really were twin flames, one of them was bound to get burned.

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