𝟖𝐭𝐡 𝐁𝐓𝐒 𝐌𝐞𝐦𝐛𝐞𝐫

.family.

I had been asked to guest star on the show 'Hello Counselor'. I happily agreed, as I was a fan of the show and sometimes would love to say a comment or two during a case. Thinking back I probably should've stopped to listen, as apparently I would be guest starring with EXO's Kai.

It wasn't that I didn't like him. Jimin introduced me to him back when I just debuted with Bangtan so it wasn't like I was unfamiliar with him. But afterwards, I started to get more into EXO and grew fond of them, especially Kai. As I sat next to him during the recording, I left a very small gap between us; too shy to even speak right after him unless the host asked me a question.

The first case I felt that I had given good advice to the couple who had a communication problem, and we were moving on to the next case.

"Hello, I'm a woman in her late thirties living just around the border of Incheon. Please help me figure out the whereabouts of my daughter."

Youngja continued to read about this mother who her daughter is more close to her group of friends than her parents. The daughter was always silent around them, never telling them about her day or her grades or anything much in general. She only seemed to be comfortable and more open to her small friend group. What had everyone shocked was that the daughter had gotten into a small accident, resulting in a wrist cast, and the parents only found out 2 days later. I personally felt that.

"If I ever got into an accident, I would be crying to my parents", Kai commented after the case was read laughing. "I can't imagine my life without my parents. My dad is the reason I even auditioned for SM."

"Ah, they must support you a lot?", Taegyun noted and Kai nodded.

"Yes, I don't know what I'd do without them."

"What about you Marin-sshi? What were your parent's reaction of you becoming an idol?"

Well this is awkward. How do I explain my parents kind of disowned me?

"Uhm, they aren't really happy...", I
tried to shrug it off with a laugh, hoping they'd see it as jokingly and won't try to dig in any deeper.

"Ah, they probably wanted you to be a doctor or something", Taegyun chuckled.

"They did actually. Most of my family members are like doctors, engineers, office workers, those type of jobs you know?", I pursed my lips.

"But they must be proud how happy and well off you are right now, right?", Dongyup added.

"Uhh, they're neutral about it...", I sort of told the truth. Maybe it was just me, but I felt Kai's stare the whole time I talked about my parents. I shrugged it off and we invited the guest in.
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"I can tell you're a lovely girl, Seonhee. There must be a reason you won't open up and talk to your parents?", Youngja asked the daughter, who had most of her hair covering her face from being shy.

"It's not that I don't want to tell them. It makes me feel guilty when they find out late. But I can't open up to them", the 12 year old said.

"Why's that?", I asked.

"I like photography. It's my passion. But when my parents found out they scolded me, saying it's not a real job and that I won't earn much", she said. I saw half of the audience had a sympathetic face.

"Is that true?", Kai turned to the mom. She looked slightly stunned, but nodded. "I just wanted what was best for her", she said.

"They stress me to study a lot and get good grades. I'm not good at studying and the pressure is so much on me I sometimes cry myself to sleep", Seonhee murmured into her mic and even though she hid behind her curtain of hair I could hear her voice wavering and could practically see the tears forming.

"I was scared to tell them I was in the accident because I knew they would scold me about how I wasn't studying and hanging out with my friends instead", she stopped abruptly to wipe her eyes and her friend who was there as well wrapped an arm around her shoulder supportively.

"So that's why you hang around your friends more... It's a distraction away from all the stress", Youngja stated and the girl nodded, her body shaking a little from holding back the tears.

"Marin, you're tearing up", I heard Taegyun said and that's when I really felt the water building up in my eyes.

"I just understand how she feels", I said wiping away at my eyes. My throat felt clogged up and I felt that if I talked anymore I'd break. Seonhee was only 12, and she went almost exactly what I went through when I was 16. It felt unfair for a girl like her so young to go through it and I felt so bad for her. I heard the audience 'aww' as I continuesly wiped away the tears.

"When I told my parents I was scouted and that I wanted to join, they hated me. They dropped me at my auntie's place in Seoul and told me to go and waste my life. I haven't called them in almost 2 years", I was able to say. I hugged the pillow I was holding tighter as old memories of my parents flooded my head. They used to love and care, ask me about my day at school and would bring me and my siblings out for dinner every weekend. I suddenly missed my mom's hugs and my dad's kisses on the head. Even though they kicked me out, they were still my parents who raised me to who I am. I remained silent for the rest of the talk.
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"Can I take two minutes?", I asked my makeup stylist who approached me. It was commercial break and I needed some time to recollect myself.

"Oh, I'm sorry dear. You have to stay here", she said while evening out the foundation under my eyes. I let out a shaky breath, knowing I had to sit here and face most of the audience.

"Can I at least have my phone? I want to try call the boys", I asked. She thankfully nodded and ran off and handed me my phone in no time. Immediately I tried calling Yoongi, but it went to voicemail.

One by one I tried every other member but it went to voicemail. I wanted to cry then and there at the fact that I was basically alone. I forced a smile and handed my phone back to my stylist. "They must be busy", I formed the sentence as clear as possible. She knew I was hiding it but nodded anyways and went backstage.

"Hey", I heard a voice. Kai looked over at me and scooted a bit closer. "Are you okay?"

A bit flustered at the fact that someone I look up to is talking to me, I nodded.

"Yeah", I shake my head, sniffing my runny nose. "Peachy."

"Is everything you said about your parents true?", He asked slowly, clearly unsure if it was okay to ask the touchy subject. Looking over, I confirm it.

"That's why I related to Seonhee a lot. Her with her friends is like me with my bandmates. They help and comfort me a lot", I sighed, thinking back on the times Taehyung would squish my face around until I smiled and the time J-Hope and Jungkook kept making silly dramatic sound effects to cheer me up.

"I owe them a lot." I smiled and turned over to Kai. His face was almost unreasonable. It was a mix of sympathy, sadness and sort of blank.

"I'm sorry", he finally said after some silence. I genuinely smiled.

"Don't be. I'm slowly getting used to it, and besides it's not like I'm alone. I have my aunt who took me in, and the Bangtan boys", I replied. At that moment, the staff announced that we were about to start.

"Thanks. I needed that talk", I told Kai while flipping my hair over my shoulder. He could only smile back and got comfortable in his seat as the Youngja read the next case.
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This was a bit rushed but I hope some of you at least enjoyed. Bai bai

-ali