subway ;vkook (sugartalk)

rooftops

a/n: taehyung's perspective

there's something so inherently beautiful about rooftops.

it's not even the rooftops themselves. no. alone, rooftops are just platforms from which you can see a violet sky. the view, is what is truly worth waiting for. a rooftop is the place from which you stand and stare at the veins of history, guiding us to the heart of humanity.

it is such a simple act. every person has looked up, looked at the sky, with its sun and its clouds and its occasional rainbows and gazed in awe. we have all stared at that same sky.

as taehyung sat on his rooftop, as he felt the freezing air dance across his bare forearms, wind whistle through his hair, he looked up and felt the stars align. it felt as if the heavens had opened up. the colours blended like the renaissance and he felt that he ought to be a painter, for a painting of this view could outdo a van gogh.

the sunset was polluted, yet taehyung saw beauty in its smoke-tinged shade and watched the sun bleed like honey into the horizon; sweet and slow. nothing but burnt gold stretching as far as the eye could see.

taehyung normally fell asleep before dusk in the city. but ever since jeongguk, his sleeps have been short and wary and he felt possessed by guilt. all it took was a beautiful sight to send him into a delirium. he thought: 'stop looking. stop staring. you don't deserve to look at beautiful things.'

once jeongguk was on his mind, he was hard to shake. have you ever liked someone so much that all it takes is the sound of their name to put a smile on your face and brighten your entire day?

sunsets are global. jeongguk would be seeing the sun set too. if he wasn't sleeping...

would he be sleeping alone, or would he have someone beside him?

taehyung knew that he should never have hurt jeongguk, but it felt too late now. like too many sunsets had passed and like there were many things he wanted to say to jeongguk, but he didn't know how. he wasn't as smooth as the honey-coloured sky, without rosé as his alcoholic confidence.

what if it was too late?

sunsets are proof that endings can be beautiful too. what if taehyung was just a silent memory to jeongguk now. what could taehyung do, without him? obviously he'd spent his whole life without him. but now...

from the moment he'd first kissed him he felt like this was his forever. like nothing could get better than this and if he loses it, then, what does he have to live for?

he'd felt sad on rooftops before, but this was the first time he'd watched the sunset sober. suddenly everything felt unnecessary. waking up. drinking. watching the sunset. sleeping. the constant, constant repetition.

there's something inherently beautiful about rooftops. but the funny thing about rooftops is that while you can look up at the glorious sky, you can also look down, at the tremendous fall.

the thought of falling crossed his mind for a millisecond, but he felt he couldn't leave this earth without redemption. he was a complicated character, but he owed it to jeongguk to let him understand. to open his mind and his heart to honesty and trust and to at least apologise. there were no words to describe his guilt but there were heavenly words to describe jeongguk and that was all that seemed to matter to him.

he could call him. apologise. it probably wouldn't work but then again, jeongguk was all too susceptible to his charms.

perhaps he was searching for a love that didn't exist but any aching rejection was better than fear of falling...

a/n: I hope this isn't too bad. just felt like updating after an eternity. <3