My Guide To Life

A Fake

Ever feel like a fake sometimes?

Like no one believes you but you know its true

Then you begin to question yourself 

Did I do it?

Am I a fraud?

But you convince yourself your not but in your darkest moments you turn to that to insult yourself.

Depression is real

It happens and you can read books or watch movies about it and think you know it all but you don't.

It happens to the best of us for different reasons. 

But most of the time if two people have depression they will feel the same.

Numb,I would sit in my classroom and I would watch the clock,I would be listening but not processing. 

I would sit there and watch the time but I wouldn't be bored,I wouldn't be processing,I wouldn't be sad,happy,nervous etc. 

No matter how many times I was sent to HOY(head of year)I wasn't nervous. 

My emotional connection with my brain had stopped working. I was emotionless but at the same time I would wake up some mornings and feel like crying even though I just woke. 

I've earned a title in my family,not a good one but they are proud of my books and even if they don't believe me about how I experienced depression I still love them and they still inspire me today. 

I'm not a fraud and as hard as I try to describe depression you will never understand until you get depression. 

I want to shout out to people that have inspired me greatly. 

Skye Tippett my cousin has inspired me about my characters Kathy and Sam from My Green Bean. Sam is innocent just like Skye and Kathy is generous like Skye too. 

I also want to thank Tanya Warren and Serene Warren for sharing this story on Facebook and getting me as many followers as I have today. 

I also like to thank:Jacksepticeye,Markiplier,Pewdiepie,Cryoatic,AmazingPhil,DanIsNotOnFire,Crankgameplays,Tyler Schnied,Amy Nelson,Signe Hanson,Olivia,Danielle@WolfAnillie For being the main characters in my books!