Someone New

Chapter Nine

Misha is laughing at me. He's not being mean, but he's definitely amused by my reaction to the words I just expelled. My hands drift from my mouth to cover my entire face. This is absolutely embarrassing.

"Lexi," he forces out between giggles, "chill out. It's not a big deal."

I peek out from behind my hands, eyebrow raised. "Not a big deal? So girls tell you they love you all the time? Like, two weeks into knowing you? God, please just pretend I didn't say that. Just rewind and erase the last minute."

Misha smiles and pulls my hands from my face.

"Baby, I would never erase that moment. Your reaction was priceless."

"Seriously! I shouldn't have said it. It's lame and clingy and way too soon."

"Hey, don't say that." He grows somber and looks at me softly. "There's no such thing as 'too soon.' There's only 'too late'."

A moment passes between us - not passion and need, not sympathy, but something in between. We understand each other in this moment, and I know that even if he doesn't tell me he loves me any time soon, he believes me that I truly do have feelings for him; and judging by his nonchalant use of the term 'baby,' which definitely melted my heart a little bit - he appreciates my feelings and is starting to feel something for me, too, however small it may be.

"Besides," he continues, "Now I have something to hold over your head, in case I ever need something."

"Oh, no you don't!" I exclaim, tossing a pillow at him. "I am indebted to no man!"

Misha chuckles and pushes his shoulder against mine, then clambers off the bed. "I'm going to go put the ice cream up, before there's only a puddle of sugar left. Want anything?"

I shake my head and smile at him, then get up to pick out a movie while he's out of the room. Being the Nicholas Sparks devotee that I am, I pluck Safe Haven from the shelf and put the disc in the player.

He comes back, holding a couple bottles of water I had stored in the refrigerator. "Just in case you get thirsty," he says with a shrug.

I'm still standing by the tv, navigating through the menus to turn the subtitles on. Misha is reading the back of the DVD case, eyebrows raised.

"Why do you do that?" I ask.

"Do what?"

"Lift your eyebrows like that, like you think I'm weird."

"No reason," he responds, placing the case back on the shelf and turning toward the bed.

"So you do think I'm weird!" I exclaim, trying not to feel hurt.

Misha tilts his face toward the ceiling, taking a moment before answering. "I don't think you're weird, Lex. I just noticed that you seem to have a preference for media that promotes... safety, I guess."

I'm sure my face echoes the confusion I feel. "What do you mean?"

He sits on the edge of the bed, and I join him. "Well, that first night in the car, you stopped the radio on My Guardian Angel, that Red Jumpsuit Apparatus song. I only remembered because it's an older song and I was surprised it was playing, and that you chose it. Tonight you chose Safe Haven. Kira loved that movie - the girl finds love with a new guy who she feels safe with after her abusive husband. You never step out of your comfort zone as far as I've seen. You don't hang out with anybody but me, Cass, and Brogan. At the risk of sounding like I'm psycho-analyzing you, it seems like you don't feel safe."

I ponder over this for a minute. Do I feel unsafe? I don't think so. Obviously, I'm not as trusting as I used to be - dating an emotionally abusive guy will do that for you. But am I really seeking some kind of harbor?