leave out all the rest. - [jikook] | j.jk & p.jm

●

Oh, I even say his full name like a stranger while in thought too.

But honestly I don't blame him.

I completely understand why he wants to spend more time with the rest but his smile would falter if I even greet him. It's understandable why he's always finding an excuse like the others to stay away from me.

I'm too average.

That explains it.

..

No, no it doesn't. It doesn't at all.

Because losing your best friend is never easy, especially if you can't understand why.

Losing that bond and then realising you can't get it back ever again, that's hard.

And when you realise you lost the best friend that you also happened to be secretly but guiltily in love with?

That's a real knife in the chest.

What sucks more is that the same has happened with the rest of them too.

But it hurts more with Jeon Jungkook, because he was so dear to me. And he still is, but he's so far away now.

And that hurts.

So no. Other than all the trillions of flaws I can state which are most likely the reason why this mess is there, I don't understand anything.

In fact, I don't understand why some of the ARMY is so supportive of me either.

There's nothing special about me.

Nothing at all.

I try. I try to be that perfect person for them because I love them so much.

I try to be the perfect person the band would appreciate too.

I try.

But because of these countless flaws,

I will never be happy with myself.

I'm just..

Nothing special.

I'm far too average for this band no matter how hard I strived during trainee days.

I shouldn't even be here.

I'm a nobody.

I'm just a waste of space.

There are millions of others that could fill my space in BTS.

...

Whatever, I'll be gone soon anyway.

I know I'll be gone after tonight's concert.

Then someone could come in and make everything right.