Stole My Heart- 1D Fanfic

Chapter 12

It was mostly empty, only a few articles of clothing still strewn about. Well, a few articles of clothes and a folder full of letters. Letters that did nothing but make me sick to my stomach. Alex wrote them, at least twice a week, otherwise known as whenever he was in a good mood. They were filled with beautiful language and promises and declarations of ardent love, but they were irrevocably tainted. I didn’t know what to do. I could keep them, pore over them for what they seemed to be, which were beautiful words that touched my heart, or I could see them for what they really were. The desperate ramblings of someone crazy, trying to keep his control over someone he feared he was losing. I held the folder close to my chest, hugging it to me, conflicted over what I should do. 

A soft knock sounded at the door. Knowing exactly who it was, I reluctantly spun around, not quite meeting Liam’s eyes. His expression changed from relaxed and comfortable to worried within seconds, and he moved over quickly, wiping away tears I didn’t even know had fallen and wrapping me into a warm and secure embrace. Resting his chin on top of my head, he smoothed his hands over my head and back, moving them in comforting circles as I buried my face into his chest. 

After a few moments, he took my shoulders, holding me at an arm’s length away from him. His eyes were filled with concern. “Do you want to talk about it?” He asked worriedly. I shook my head, just silently held out the folder to him. Although I knew I should throw them away, the letters were, somehow, impossibly, special to me. No one had ever told me that they loved me before Alex. I didn’t even know what love was, I didn’t know if his type of love was the only love in store for me, and so I felt like the letters were the only tangible representation of ‘Love’ I had left. I didn’t want to hurt Liam but bringing Alex back into the picture, but I knew that, somehow, Liam would understand. And he would tell me what I should do. 

He took the folder gingerly, not possibly knowing what was inside it, but somehow sensing its nostalgic importance to me. He opened it, pulling out the first leaf of notebook paper. College ruled, because Alex’s handwriting was small print with typewriter-like accuracy. Liam’s eyes scanned the paper, face falling into a mask of impassivity. He rifled through the folder, skimming every paper, before finally sliding onto his bum. I sat on the bed, looking out the darkened window, until I heard his small voice. 

“You know this isn’t love, right?” My eyes widened. I stared at him, finally meeting his eyes. He always seemed to read my mind. I shrugged my shoulders, placing my head in my hands wearily. 

“I don’t know anything about love, Liam. What if that’s it? More pain than it’s worth?” I mumbled into my hands. Instantaneously, Liam was up on his feet. He took my wrists gently, cast and all, and shook his head. 

“Don’t say that. That’s not true. You can’t think that, love. If it really is love, it would be worth whatever pain it caused. But control, and greediness, and abuse? That isn’t it. Not even close. One day, you’ll find it, but it certainly wasn’t with him. And if you want my opinion, I say all those letters should go in the rubbish heap.” He stood up, pulling me with him, and handing me the folder. I took it, hands quivering slightly, but knowing he was right. I looked from the folder to the waste bin, and back again. Liam stood by, nodding encouragingly. With him beside me, I somehow found the extra strength I needed. With a deep breath, I tossed it into the bin, then spun around and immediately began folding a stray top. Liam kissed me on the head, then picked up the bin and carried it away. I slumped against the wall, feeling considerably lighter. I even smiled a bit. 

The next morning, we all woke up early to meet the moving trucks. We spent the majority of the day moving boxes, with only a brief break for lunch. When the flat was finally empty, we all sat in the middle of the living room, eating pizza and talking about everything except that this was the last time we’d ever be all together in this apartment. We joked around and laughed and teased Louis about his secret girlfriend that he refused to let any of us meet. It was the first night in awhile we had gotten to spend all together. When the sun set and we were sitting in the dark, everyone finally got up and managed to walk out the door in a mass, everyone talking over each other and laughing.