To Be Happy

To Be Her

Many of you may not know this, but in the brief time Sherlock spent with Irene Adler, he did not, in fact, have feelings for her.

Well, he had feelings towards her, but they weren't exactly romantic ones.

It was the first time that someone he actually found interesting had shown any interest in him, romantically, at least. He was, if I can say this without sounding cliche, in love with the idea of her.

He was in love with the idea of someone smart and capable, someone who had no problem with him being the arrogant ass he usually is. He was in love with the way she continuously flirted with him (because, like all of us, someone showing him affection made Sherlock feel something that really only comes from someone flirting with you). He fell head over heels for the thought of having someone love him, and be attracted to him, not just his body, or his reputation, but every little piece of his personality and every corner of his mind and every thought he's ever had and every thing he's ever done, someone to love him.

Irene Adler showed him the sort of thing he'd only hoped that John Watson would feel for him, but she was a reasonable second, and so he, of course, couldn't let her just die.

The best part about whatever was going on between them was that Irene was perfectly aware that Sherlock was in love with John the entire time. She was perfectly aware that whatever she was giving him, he was only responding to because he craved it from someone else so much that anyone would do. And she was perfectly fine with it; preferred it, actually, because whatever was going on between them wasn't supposed to be real in the first place. 

The worst part about whatever was going on between them was that Sherlock was in love with John Watson. Whatever Irene was giving the detective, he was only responding to because he craved it from someone else so much that anyone would do. But Sherlock Holmes wanted John Watson to want him so bad that he couldn't seem to focus on anything else without his substitute. 

And he broke. And nobody bothered to realize why, because they all assumed that somehow, Sherlock Holmes had fallen in love with Irene Adler, and seemed content to leave it at that. But Sherlock Holmes hadn't fallen in love with Irene Adler, not at all; he'd fallen in love with someone loving him. And so he broke.

And then he healed. 

And then they all moved on, like none of it had happened, but Sherlock Holmes was so deeply in love with his best friend that he didn't know what do to with all of his emotions, and he never really figured out what to do with them. He sort of shoved them off to the side, moved them out of the way, even when they built up and started overflowing out of his makeshift dam. 

And, once they got bad enough, he knew he had to tell John Watson, because at the very least maybe the rejection would be enough to break the never-ending wave of feelings washing over the detective. 

(It didn't work, of course. If it worked, we wouldn't have a story.)

And now, dear reader, you are all caught up on the actual story of Irene Adler and Sherlock Holmes. But, as it happens, those are not the main characters of our story. It is time to bring our favorite veteran who has yet to develop feelings for our adorable detective back into the mix.

It may be important to note that John Watson is still under the impression that Sherlock was at least partially in love with Irene Adler, everyone's favorite lesbian prostitute. He remembered the way Sherlock had acted after she "died," the way he didn't seem to be able to function anymore. At one point, Mycroft had told him that Sherlock was acting like he had before he and John had moved in together. He remembered how Sherlock had acted, and he couldn't imagine it coming from anything other than an utterly shattered heart. So yes, of course John was under the impression that Sherlock had been at least partially in love with Irene Adler. He hadn't yet realized that he'd been the cause of that heartbreak, too.

The blogger hadn't thought about it for many months, but he remembered how he felt when he'd hear Sherlock getting her texts. He'd feel jealous, because Sherlock was responding to her. I mean, he wasn't responding to her texts, but he was responding to her flirting, in his own ways, with a small smile here and there or a glance at his phone every once and a while, and these things made John jealous every time he noticed them, which was all the time. 

At the time, the doctor didn't think much of it. His best friend was giving someone else his attention; of course he was jealous. He wasn't used to Sherlock actually liking other people. 

But, almost a month after The Night Sherlock Had Confessed His Undying Love For His Partner In Crime, John woke up suddenly with one thought piercing through his mind.

John Watson had been jealous of Irene Adler.

Because John Watson wanted Sherlock all to himself. 

im sorry the chapter is so short  your boy is running out of ideas and needs something to do for a couple more chapters before the rest of his plan can take place

thanks for reading, thanks for commenting, thanks for adding this book to your reading lists and thanks for following me, y'all are super motivational because i haven't really shared my writing before and the feedback has been pretty good so far, considering i just started. 

so anyways, thank you all, love you all, next update coming in probably a week because high school is not as easy that the television shows made it look

-grey