Waifu Wars: A Food Wars Fanfic

Ch.2 An Elegy for an Allergy (Alice Nakiri)

Alice Nakiri was sitting at her desk, looking over the students, when she let out a mischievous laugh. "What's so funny, Miss?" asked Ryo Kurokiba. Seated next to her, his desk was comically undersized in comparison. He was only here because Alice needed an assistant.

"Just thinking about the absurdity of the whole thing. I was here taking notes with these students a week ago, and now I'm grading assignments and rating their dishes! Am I a super brilliant, hard-working, food-science expert whose skill is on par with any of the world's finest chef's? Well duh, but it's still surprising that they picked me to fill in for Mr. Yamamoto. I wonder what happened to him anyway..."

"Miss, I think you're forgetting that I'm the one who grades the assignments, while you taste the dishes. And only the ones that look good."

"Bad Ryo! Down boy! I didn't ask you to be my assistant just to put up with your sass." She gave him a spritz from the squirt bottle she kept under her desk.

"Of course, Miss," he said, unflinching. "And what did we have planned for today?"

"It's always fun to show off my smarts to these dum-dums, so I was thinking maybe a lecture and then a cooking assignment."

"Did you at least look at the institute-mandated curriculum, Miss?" he tried.

"Phooey! I'm the teacher now, and what I say goes! Plus, I can just have you read that stuff and tell me if it's any good. Standards shmandards." It's only been a week, and Miss Alice is already on a power trip, thought Ryo. If I didn't have to do the grading, this class might actually be interesting. "Hmm, now what sounds good? Ah, I know! The dish they will have to prepare for me today will be...frozen crab bisque!"

Ryo gave her a blank stare. "A crab-themed dessert, first thing in the morning? You really are an eccentric, Miss."

"Aww, thanks Ryo. You should give me more complements." By the time the first bell rang, most of the students were already in their seats. Though they knew her brainy and carefree personality from being fellow first-years, everyone in the class was deathly afraid of her new authority as a teacher. If she were to mention a student's poor performance to someone like, say, her grandfather Senzaemon Nakiri...they'd be finished.

"Well, I think that's everyone, so let's go ahead and start early. Ryo, be a doll and take attendance for me."

"At once, Miss." He began quietly matching names to faces, while she began the lecture.

"Welcome to Miss Nakiri's Molecular Gastronomy Class! As you all know, I'm your host, Alice Nakiri! Today I'm going to tell you a bunch of super interesting stuff, and then you're all going to make some delicious treats for me." She walked over to the whiteboard, which was already covered with lecture notes. Grabbing a pointer, she smacked it hard against the board, startling some of the students.

"Heston Blumenthal. I'm assuming that most of you have heard of him?" Nothing but crickets.

"Ugh, okay fine, I guess we'll have to start from the beginning. Heston Blumenthal is one of the most influential chef's in the world. He owns three different Michelin star earning restaurants, and his most famous one, The Fat Duck, is one of only five restaurants in Britain to earn the full three stars. It was voted number one on the 'World's 50 Best Restaurant's list in 2005. You guys, he's a visionary! He invented recipes ranging from triple-cooked chips to soft-centered Scotch eggs. He's a master at the technique known as food pairing (please tell me you've heard of food-pairing?) and he's also created unlikely combinations like white chocolate with caviar and salmon poached in liquorice gel."