The Monster Inside of Me

Your Call

*  Day 6090    
*  September 7, 2018

    Normally, I soak in all the wonderful information the teachers have to share but for the past few weeks I've been counting down the minutes.
*  Current Time- 2:45 P.M.
*  Minutes left- 30
*  Seconds left- 1,800
I did the math in my head. I scribed in my notebook which I never did except for when I was sketching a design. I didn't have to worry about the teacher calling on me. She likes to challenge her students, this isn't a challenge to me.
    At the end of the day we were given back our math test, my lowest grade ever a B+. "Mr Richards, I need to talk to you after class." my teacher whispered as she passed. I raked my fingers through my hair, what was I doing? I was letting my grades slip all because of what? Him. It was all His fault.
    The students couldn't have left any slower, I pulled my hood over my face and slouched down in my chair. "Nathaniel, we need to talk." Miss Williams leaned  up against the desk next to mine. "I have enjoyed your time in my class. You're a straight A student, you always are on time, you always turn in your homework on time-"
"I got it." I mumbled. "I'm perfect."
"Is something going on at home?"
"No."
"I need you to talk to me, Nathaniel."
"I'm fine, can I go?"
She sighed, "Yes, you may go. Have a good weekend."
I slung my bookbag over me shoulder and headed to my locker. Eli, my best friend, was already standing in front of it. By the looks of Eli, he's tough, tall, likes dark clothing. His dark brown eyes were locked on his phone screen.
"Hey, dude, watch out." I pushed him out of the way of my locker.
"What took so long?" He asked.
"Miss Williams thinks something is wrong with me."
"Why?" I handed him my test, he let out a low whistle. "Nate, dude, what's going on?"
"He's been attacking a lot more. I can barely sleep, barely live my life without Him trying to take me down!" I loudly whispered.
"Nate, I think you should talk to your grandpa again."
"No, I got this. Could you talk to your step mom and maybe see what she would do."
"For calming?"
"Yeah."
"Why don't you talk to her? She's home today and wouldn't mind talking to you about this."
"Alright, let's go."

. . .

Eli raced me home. Even though we were sixteen years old we still acted like children. Eli and I were constantly competing, we always tied but we tried. By the time we reached his house we were both out of breath. Eli opened the door and walked inside, as I began to move inside a wave of pressure pushed me backwards. Sending me backward, my head began to pound as if someone was was screaming in my head. "Get out of my head!" I yelled through gritted teeth. I began to smack my head over and over again, hoping it would help.
Eli came back outside at first looking confused but after seeing me he rushed to my side. "Nate! Breath, man, just breath. You got this, deep breaths." he said, his voice sounding panicked. He tried to be calm but no matter how many times he tried he always panicked. This isn't the first time Eli had seen me like this. I continued to freak, "I don't want to fight you but I will if I have to, Nate." Eli threatened.
I could feel Him trying to break free. Trying to escape my body. To take over my body. Eli slammed me against a tree, a few branches fell off the tree. He pulled back his hand and punch me in the nose. I felt blood began to run down my chin. I began to breath harder, I screamed and fell to the ground, grabbing my head. "Nate, dude, are you okay?" Eli asked. "Is that you in there?" he continued to question.
"It's me." I whispered.
"What's your full name?"
"Dude, shut up."
"I'm just testing you to make sure it's really you. I mean He sounds, acts, and knows everything about you."
"He's dangerous, I know."
"I know there is more going on so talk to me, dude." Eli sat down next to me.
"He's been trying to come out more and more. I'm scared. What if I can't control Him and I lose it?"
"I think it's time you tell your grandparents."
"What?" I shot up. "Are you crazy, Eli? I can't do that, you know how they'll freak. I'll just lock myself up more, I'll trying breathing techniques, I'll take more walks, I'll do more to keep calm. But I just can't tell my grandparents."
"Okay, but that has to be a promise." he stood up and held out his hand. I took it as the front door opened. And out walked Eli's step mom, Debbie, and she called out, "What are you boys doing out here?"
"Nothing, we're coming in." Eli responded. "You sure you're okay, man? I wouldn't want you to go psycho on my step mom."
I glared at him as I wiped the blood off of my face. "I'm fine, dude. Stop worrying." we entered the house and I walked to my normal spot in the living room. "Um, Deb, I was wondering if you have any ideas of how to keep calm? Besides what you've already told me."
"Besides what I've already told you ... I'm not sure there are many more tricks I could show you. Is there something wrong?"
"Oh, no. There is nothing wrong." I turned to Eli and continued. "Eli, you want to come over and study a little bit?"
"I guess so. Let me go grab few things from my room." Eli patted the arm of the couch before jumping up to walk up the stairs.
Debbie watched as Eli disappeared up the stairs before beginning again. "Are you keeping up running in the mornings, the walks, the music, stretches, etc?"
"Yes, I promise, I have." I sighed. "I'm even follow the daily plan you built just for me."
"Then what is wrong, Nathaniel? Is there something wrong at home?"
I sat back down and laid my head into my hands. I sighed and shook my head. "No, there is nothing wrong. It's just school stress."
It was silent for awhile, I looked up to see if she was still even in the room. Sure enough, she was still standing by the staircase. "Alright, ready, dude?" Eli asked, standing at the top of the staircase.
I shot up, excited to leave the house and get to my safe room. "Yes, I am ready. What took so long?" I ended it with a slight laugh so that Debbie would take it as a joke but in all reality I meant it. I wanted to leave this place, it made me feel uncomfortable. And when I'm uncomfortable He's more likely to come out and that's the last thing I want with Debbie around. It's the last thing I want period but I can't control it as well as I would like.
As Eli said goodbye to Debbie, I quickly exited the house, badly needing fresh air. I steadied myself against a tree slowly breathing in and out. Eli came stomping down the staircase and stopped by the fence and turned back towards me. "Are you okay, dude?"
"Yeah, I'm fine. Are you ready to go?" I straightened up and joined him at the fence. He nodded and stuck his hands in his pockets. After a few minutes of silence I turned my head and said, "Do you ever think He's ever going to completely take over me?"
"You can think like that, man."
"But think of all that He's done to me already. What else can He do? I try to defeat Him but every time I get stronger so does He. He's already completely at least ten times stronger than me. Eli, He's hurting everyone I love and He's hurting me. I can't keep doing this."
"Nathaniel, stop this. You're going to be fine, we'll find a way to stop this, I promise."
"Eli, we've been trying for sixteen years. I'm surprised He hasn't tried to take over the world yet." I joked but I was serious and Eli knew I was.
"Nathaniel, this is where you need to tell your grandpa. He's a world class inventor. One of the top five in the world. He can definitely help you."
"No, Eli, I can't. Look, can we just drop it?"
"But, Nat-"
"Drop it, okay?"
"Okay," Eli shrugged. We were quiet the rest of the way until we turned down the street my house was on when we saw a moving truck parked at my neighbor's house. "Did you know that house was sold?"
"No," with that I picked up my place and jogged the rest of my way to my house. When the door shut behind Eli my grandma called from the kitchen, "Nathaniel, is that you?"
"Yes, grandma. Hey, where's grandpa?"
"In his office."
I look at Eli and he whispers. "Tell him."
"I'm just going to ask him about the news neighbors." Eli shook his head but said nothing. I pushed my grandpa's office door open the rest of the way as I entered. "Hey, grandpa, did you meet the new neighbors?"
He spun around in his chair to face me and slid his glasses onto his forehead. "I'm afraid not. But I think your grandmother is making cookies or brownies for them. Maybe you and Eli could run them over?"
Eli nudged me slightly, I knew what he wanted but I didn't want to do it. My grandparents already hated my father, I couldn't imagine what they would do if they found out he made me into this monster. Instead I ignored Eli and kept talking about the new neighbors. "Yeah, we can do that. I'll be in my lab if you need me, grandpa." I held out my hand, telling Eli it's time to go. Once he walked out I turned and shot my grandpa one last smile before leaving the room completely and shutting the door behind me.
"Dude, you just missed the perfect chance and now I have to go be friendly to neighbors? You know that's not my thing."
"Yeah, yeah, I know. You're Eli Braxton, the tough guy, the one who pushes around and doesn't get pushed around. But what if there is another kid our age at the house? Don't you think it's time to make more friends?"
This time Eli held the door open for me and we both sat on the basement stairs. "Wait, is this coming from the same guy who is scared that his going to take over the world in his sleep?" Eli and I both stood again and jogged to my lab (which is pretty much the basement except for the fact that my grandma has a few boxes in the corner.
"I know, Eli, I said only the two of us because of me. But don't you think that's getting a little old?"
"Well, not exactly because then I have to nice to another person and you aren't comfortable talking about Him."
"I'm comfortable with it."
Eli sat down in my spinny office chair and spun around. "Oh really? Then go upstairs and tell your grandpa about Him."
"That's different." I threw my bookbag onto the king size bed and walked over to all the news reports I have tapped to my wall of my father.
"How?"
"I have a reputation to hold with them, this will rip that away. Because you know my grandpa. He'll call in some of his 'friend' and want to run test and I won't be Nathaniel anymore. Just another one of my dad's failed attempts at murder."
"How many failed attempts are there?" Eli once again spun around.
"Only one that I know about. It was a boy, like me. He was only five when my dad gave it to him and the boy went missing several months after that."
"How did your dad give it to him? You know, since he changed his ways every time."
"He infused it into a piece of candy and when the kid ate it, well you know the rest."
"Man, it's so weird to think that someone as successful as you came from a monster like that."
"He wasn't always a monster, it only started when he started working with Dr. Ray Laskin. I blame him."
"Funny, the whole world blames your dad."
I shot Eli a glare but then looked down at my hands. "They don't know him like I did."
"If you ask me, they both deserve to rot in jail. Hey, did your grandma ever get you more chocolate milk?" I laughed as Eli walked over to the fridge.
"You mean get you more chocolate milk? And the answer is yes. She did."
As Eli opened the fridge, he quickly closed it. He turned to look back at me, his eyes wide. "Did He do that?" he pointed to the hole in the wall that was next to the fridge. The size of a basketball. I bit my lip and nodded slightly. "When?"
"This morning." I said, embarrassed of what He made me do. "Luckily, no one was home."
"I wish someone was, then you would finally, hopefully, have the guts to tell them." Eli watched as I flopped onto the bed and groaned. "Look, man, I only want the best for you and I want you to have fun and not to live in fear. When you were a kid He wasn't a threat like he is now so I didn't worry about it but now it's time you come to realize that He's here to stay and you better do something about it before He tries to take over the world."
I shot up in the bed, "So you do think He will try to take over the world?"
"Maybe, I mean He's powerful enough."
"Nah, the military will take Him down before He ever gets that far. He's not that powerful."
"Man, I hope you're right." Eli said before opening the fridge once more. This comment frightened me more than I already was. It was true that I lived most of my life in fear because of Him. Yeah, sure, I would love to play sports, maybe try to be in a relationship but I can't because I don't trust myself. I would love to have more friends, to not disappear as soon as I can, to have a life but I can't because I can't control Him. Maybe telling my grandpa wasn't the worst idea?
"Boys, Alvin said you would take the brownies over to the new family."
"Yeah, we did." I called back.
"Well, they're ready and I would prefer you take them over before they get cold."
I turned to Eli and nodded. "We can work on the homework after we get back."
He shrugged, "If we have to." we both raced up the stairs, pushing each other as we went trying to beat each other. I pushed open the door first, Eli grabbed the basket my grandma had put together and out the door we went. As we walked to the neighbor's house, I asked, "What did you get in the test?"
"A D."
"You like to get as close as you can to failing without failing, don't you?"
"I didn't get as close to failing this one like I did last time."
"Right, because you actually failed your last test."
Eli mouthed, "ha ha ha" but said nothing until. "But what about you? A B+? Are you feeling okay or is He really scaring you right now?"
By now we were at the driveway of the house, I stopped and turned to Eli. "Can we talk about this when we get back to my lab, please?" Eli shrugged as I raised my hand to knock on the door. But before I could even hit the door, it swung wide open revealing a little boy, no older than eight.
"Hi, I saw you guys walking up the driveway from the window, I wanted to see if I could beat you but I was in my bedroom which is upstairs, but I still beat you so yay!"
"Did he just say that all in one sentence?" Eli whispered to me.
"Sounds like it." I responded. Then out loud I said, "Hello, I'm your neighbor who lives in the house to the right of you guys. My name is Nathaniel and this is my friend Elijah."
"Cole, have you seen my black wedges." A sweet girl's voice came closer to the door. "Who's here?" She appeared in the doorway and that's when I recognized her. "Nathaniel?"
"Devin?"
"Oh my gosh, it's been so long!" She pulled me into a hug and when she pulled away she continued. "How have you been?"
"Um, you know," I shoved my hands into my pockets. Trying to hide the fact that I was extremely nervous. "Good. How about you?"
"I've been amazing. I mean if my parents would have told me I would have been moving right next door to Nathaniel Richards I would have come more willingly." She laughed.
I softly laughed, I barely knew this girl but she was acting as if we were best friends. "Yeah, um, well, this is my friend Elijah and we were just dropping off some welcome to the neighbor baked goods." Eli handed her the basket.
"Aww, that's so sweet. Your mother is such a wonderful woman." Devin said, checking out everything in the basket.
"Actually, my grandma made everything. My mother .... she passed away eight years ago."
Devin froze, "Oh, Nathaniel, I'm sorry. I didn't know and I swear if I did, I wouldn't have said anything."
"You're fine. I've accepted it now, I mean it was eight years ago?" I chuckled slightly. Why did I say that as a question.
Devin looked at my slightly confused. "Okay? Well would you like to come in? I'm sure my parents would love to see you again?"
"No, I think we're good. Besides, we have some homework to finish."
"Oh okay." She sounded disappointed. "Well, I guess I'll see you around then."
I nodded, I slowly turned away and walked down the three stairs to her driveway but tripped on air and stumbled slightly. I heard Devin giggled softly from behind me. As Eli walked past he only slapped my back, with a smile on his face and shook his head. My face grew red as I followed him to my house.
Once we were off the driveway and onto mine, Eli thought it was safe to ask. "So, who was that and why did you turn into a shy dork?"
"That was Devin Berkeley. And my mom worked with her dad for awhile when we were kids. I haven't seen her since my mom switched departments. What do you think she would think of me if she found out about my dad?"
"Nate, don't beat yourself up. I'm sure she already knows about your dad."
"You're not helping. Look, I haven't seen or talked to her since we left. I don't really want to strike up a friendship with her."
"Is this coming from the guy you just told me we need more friends?"
"Shut up." I grumbled. I pushed the door open but before I could go down to my lab my grandma called for me.
"How did they like them?"
"Um, I didn't see the parent but I'm sure they did. Eli and I are going down to my lab to study."

. . .

"Can we stop studying? You already know you're going to pass." Eli groaned.
"I would have agreed with you if it wasn't for certain cucmstanses."
Eli smirked slightly and pushed the books off the the bed. "Tell me more about Devin."
"What is there to tell? The last time I knew her she was six."
"Come on, Nate. You never told me you were friends with her. There has to be more to the story. Like why did your mom sitch stations? What were they working on? Did you talk to her after you left? Why did she freak when she saw you if you guys were only six? And why didn't you tell her the truth about your mother?"
I chuckled slightly. "Woah, slow down, dude. I was only six at the time so I might not know all the answers but here I go. I'm not sure why my mom changed stations but I know this one was closer to my grandparents and I've lived with them ever since. Again, I don't know what they were working on. How do you think I would know why she was freaking out, do you think I can read minds?" I watched as Eli shrugged and I could tell me was thinking about how cool that would be. "I didn't tell her the truth because she would go crazy if she found out my mom went missing."
"Yeah, I guess that all makes sense. I still think it has something to do with your grandpa."
"My mother's disappearance?"
"Yeah, he was strangely calm about the whole thing."
"You realize how crazy that sounds, right, Eli?"
"Not if you look at how crazy your family is already. I mean you've never met your dad, he's been in jail before you could speak, you have Him and your mom just disappears and your grandpa is perfectly fine with it? Suspicious? It's very suspicious. Which is why I like hanging out with you so much, it's never boring."
"Oh, right, because you're just a normal human."
Eli looked down at his hands before shoving them in his pockets. "At least my family is normal."
"Ha, sure, bro, sure." I felt my phone buzz and I looked down.

Unknown Number
Hello, Nathaniel, it's very important that you listen to me very carefully. I know that you consider your father's "gift" a curse but I thought you should know there is a way to reverse it. To turn you back normal. It's what you've always wanted, right? If you want to learn how to do this just keep in contact with me. Send me a message to show me you want to keep going with this and I will send you the instructions.

Eli let out a low whistle, he was reading over my shoulder. "Wow, it just got even crazier. I mean you hear about this stuff happening in movie but never in real life. Who do you think this person is?"
"There is only one person who would know about what my dad was doing." Eli looked at me, waiting to hear the rest of my sentence. "Ray Laskin."