Chapter 19 - Letters to the Ones I Hurt

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"Anyway, how's the Axel thing going?" Seth asked, rolling onto his side. "You guys are hanging out constantly these days. I'm starting to think you're replacing me."

"...Have you seen the guy?" I laughed, giving him a playful punch to the shoulder. "He's not best friend material, not by a long shot. Speaking of..." I closed my mouth, brain skirting back to that evening last week. The spot-free apartment, Axel's coffee cup in the sink, his father's eyes on my hands, the surrealness of the situation... It haunted me, even now.

"I kind of met his dad last week," I said.

"You what?" Seth sputtered. "When?! What was he like? What the heck, Nao?"

I made a face. Describing Axel's dad was easy enough. He seemed put-together. He wore nice, expensive clothes, and he was... cold. If you thought Axel was cold and indifferent, his dad was a bloody ice cube in comparison. That look on his face as he inspected the apartment...

"Strange," is what I ended up saying.

"Strange," Seth mimicked. "Not exactly a shocker, considering Axel is his kid, but still..."

"He wore gloves inside the house," I said. "And he was acting really off. Like he just waltzed into the apartment and didn't even say hello." I considered the wardrobe across the room. "Strange," I repeated.

"Strange."

We laid in silence, brains humming inside our heads. I could never be sure what Seth was thinking of, but my thoughts were on Axel. The puzzle pieces that made up his image didn't fit together. His fights, his spotless apartment, his meticulous dad... His temper, his silent demeanor, the way he stood up for me back at Fort Violet... Putting the pieces together was impossible, and the more I tried the more pieces I realized were missing. Who was Axel? And why did I want to know?

"That actually reminds me of something," Seth said, breaking the silence. He was watching the ceiling lamp, brow furrowed. "I think there was a rumor about his family, now that I think about it."

"What rumor? There's a whole bunch of 'em."

"I don't remember the details, but I think it was pretty bad," Seth murmured. "Remember last year? I think it was around this time of year, actually."

"What?"

"That was when the rumors really took off, right? Remember when William came in all muddy, screaming about the mass fight in the schoolyard?" A light flicked on in my head, memories flooding back.

"Oh yeah, that. Man, he was disturbed."

"Yeah, and then Mr. White told us to stay where we were, but no one listened, of course, so we snuck out to watch." Seth paused, frown deepening. "And it was just chaos, people fighting everywhere, third-years punching freshies, football players wrestling in the rain. Madness."

I sighed. "Those were the times."

"No, but Nao," Seth said impatiently. "Don't you remember? When Mr. White broke the fight up and they had a chance to explain, they all said it was Axel that started it? That he threw the first punch and dragged them all into it?"

I stopped plucking at the hole in my sweater. Seth was still staring at the ceiling, eyes narrowed and focused.

"And that he was screaming at the top of his lungs? Something about a phone... Or was it drugs...? I can't remember."

The radiator purred like an electric cat. The room was warm and toasty, and my thoughts were flying all over, collecting puzzle pieces and screaming when they wouldn't fit together. Phone or drugs. Drugs or phone. Phone... or drugs? I'd never seen anything that made me think Axel did drugs. He fought a lot, but the wounds were never so serious I thought he'd been in a death match. Then again, I'd seen that look in his eyes...

"What's that got to do with his family, though?" I asked, remembering Seth's earlier point.

"Well, uh... Kurt said his dad's a mafia boss... So y'know..."

I snickered and propped myself up on my elbow. "A mafia boss," I deadpanned.

"Yup."

"Since when did you listen to Kurt, anyway?"

Seth shrugged, laughter bubbling out of him. The skin around his eyes creased, and twin dimples appeared on his cheeks.

"I don't! It just seemed likely at the time!"

"A mafia boss," I repeated, laughter spilling out between the words. "From the mouth of Kurt. You really are an idiot."

I pounced on him, launching one of my specialty tickle moves. The sound of Seth's laughter rang through the house, and I wrestled him to the bed with my legs. Before long he was howling with laughter, and my mom was shouting something from the kitchen.

As evening bled into night, my phone rolled off the bed and was buried under one of my flannel shirts. I spent the rest of the evening watching TV with Seth, and never noticed the notification that lit up my screen under the fabric. I was laughing at something on the Occultists when a text message ticked in. I wouldn't read it until several hours later:

Unknown: Enjoy yourself while you can. You're dead meat.

 You're dead meat

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