Another Five Years

For Your Life

August 2001

He sat at the edge of the hotel bed and stared at the phone sitting perfectly silent on the nightstand. The room was a disaster from his early morning haste, ripping through the drawers to find his things before racing to the hospital. He took a sharp breath and grabbed the phone, punching Anna's number in before he could overthink. It rang three times before she answered.

"Hello?" Fuck, she was sleeping.

He opened his mouth to speak, but the words caught in his throat. A wave of terror washed over him and he collapsed in on himself, clutching the phone to his ear just to hear her breathing, his last grip on reality.

"Hello?" she asked again, this time with worry in her voice and Aaron asking questions in the background. "David?"

"Annie..."

"David... Where are you?"

He couldn't answer, he just choked back sob after sob.

"Does Jimmy know where you are?"

"Yes," he managed.

"Hang tight, kitten. I'm on my way."

*

Tap Tap...

Dave didn't even look up from Taylor's face. The nurses always gave a courtesy knock when they did their rounds, though they never sat next to him in the extra chair... he looked up expecting Chris or Nate, they tried to stop in as often as they could, but he was staring slack-jawed at his own mother. He hadn't told her about Taylor's overdose, though he had told her that he was worried about his friend's heroin usage just weeks ago. She carefully took his hand and held it tightly, looking over her son's best friend as the tears welled in her eyes.

"It's happening again, Mom."

"Oh, honey," she sighed and held him tightly, letting him soak the shoulder of her blouse with his tears. They sat like that for a long time, mother and son, just weathering the storm as best they could.

When he had finally exhausted his tears, he sat back in his chair and rubbed his eyes. "How did you-"

"Anna came and got me in the dead of night. We took the next plane over," she explained.

"Is she-?" he looked towards the door, hoping she would be standing there.

"She's in the hall. I'll sit with him," she pulled her chair close to the bedside and took Taylor's hand.

The sight of his mother keeping vigil at his best friend's side almost broke him again and he rushed out of the room. Anna was far down the hallway where she wouldn't be in the way of the nurses, leaning against the wall and worriedly chewing her bottom lip. She looked up from her coffee cup when he approached her and her face instantly fell. He probably looked terrible, he had barely slept much less showered or even brushed his teeth since he got the call about Taylor.

"Oh god, David," she whispered, her eyes spilling tears onto her cheeks. "I'm so sorry."

He threw his arms around her and held her as she cried, a strangely welcome change to all the shoulders he had been crying on as of late.

"You brought my mom," he said quietly, his face buried in her hair.

"I thought she could help more than I could."

He answered by holding her tighter until her tears ran dry, then not knowing what else to ask settled on the customary, "Coffee?"

She nodded and gripped his hand, letting him lead her as she wiped the streaks of mascara off her face. The end of the intensive care ward held the most dismal room in existence, one that Dave would only venture into when he needed coffee then rush right back out of. It was the room where families would gather to receive the worst news of their lives and it felt like the misery was imprinted on the walls. Paintings of bible scenes and landscapes hung on the aging wallpaper in an attempt to soothe, but they seemed invasive and condescending like the watercolored eyes were judging the very reason they were there.

Anna perched on the edge of a chair next to Dave and took a tentative sip of coffee. "Oh, Christ," she grimaced and pushed the cup away. "That's just awful."

Dave inadvertently laughed, a noise that startled both of them. He cleared his throat and tried his hardest to keep the smile on his face. "Everyone here drinks tea it so the coffee goes stale."

"Until you get to it," she nudged his arm with her elbow and sat back into her chair with a sigh. 

"Aaron had to work?"

In the two years Anna had been married, Dave and Aaron had become friends. Actual friends without having to force it and would often hang out together when Anna was at work. She would come home to the two of them half drunk, either trying to skateboard in the driveway or woodshedding their guitars then grab her own beer and join them. Dave was always more comfortable when she was around, he was still closest to her after all, but the three of them had fallen into an easy dynamic.

"Yeah, he wanted to be here so badly, but he's been asked to go in more often than normal lately," she replied, frowning down at her hands. "It always makes me nervous when he's working on something at the Pentagon that he can't talk about."

"Isn't he some top-level security clearance guy there? No wonder he can't talk about it."

"Sometimes I think that even if he knew the world was going to end he wouldn't tell me," she muttered a little bitterly. 

"I'm sure he would if it were to keep you safe, Annie," he said, furrowing his brow as he thought about it. He wasn't sure how deep Aaron was in the Pentagon, he had never really asked, he just knew that the majority of Aaron's duties were considered classified. 

"Yeah, it's probably just some incoming alien attack or something," she shrugged. 

"Fuck," Dave sighed, "I wish."

Anna looked around to make sure they were still alone, then leaned into Dave's side. "What fucking happened? I thought Taylor was getting clean!"

"Me too," he muttered bitterly. He didn't want to be mad at Taylor, he knew this was a mistake, an accident, but it was a colossal one. "We went out after a gig and had a few drinks, then I went to bed..."

"Yeah, you called me when you got to your room...," she reminded him. He had asked Anna to check on the house on her way home from work.

"Then next thing I knew, our tour manager was pounding on my door like the fucking cops and I was on my way here."

"Do you know where he got it from?"

Dave gripped the armrest of his chair and shifted his weight to try and mask his anger. "Yeah, I have a pretty good idea." They had played so many festival slots that it really could have been anyone that had given Taylor the heroin, but Dave knew in his gut that it was one of their roadies. Chris and Nate had suspected the same guy as no one had seen or heard from him since Taylor was found unconscious, so he had been quickly wiped from payroll and locked out of his hotel room. 

"Okay," Anna took his hand again and they sat silently together, wrapped in their own worried thoughts.