Another Five Years

Don't Stop Me Now

"Why are you here?" he whispered as she quickly pushed her skirt back down.

"I'm with the band."

With the band? "In Seattle?"

"I go to school here," she said, meeting his eyes. "I graduate this spring." Had she been here the whole time? The entire time he was in Seattle, was she just miles away? What the fuck? "Come with me."

They leaned on the balcony railing with fresh drinks watching the band play below. "Nate is amazing. He's so talented," she said, pointing to the redhead on bass. "He carries the entire group."

He kept his eyes on the rhythm section, focusing on Nate. He seemed comfortable taking mid-stage and was pretty much the only one playing in time at that point in the song. The drummer, William, had drifted into playing on the downbeat, Jeremy the singer was mumbling through the words, Dan the rhythm guitarist was indifferent about the entire situation while poor Nate was just trying to muddle through. Dave was a little disappointed that Nate wasn't doing any backing vocals, but maybe he could convince him to try. The song mercifully ended and the band made their final bows.

"You should come back and say hi," Anna said over the applause.

Dave shook his head and finished his drink. "No, it's their last night. I'm gonna let them do their thing."

"Oh come on," she teased, tugging on his arm with a smile. "It'd really cheer them up to meet a rock star like you!"

He rolled his eyes and relented, weaving his fingers with hers as they walked backstage. They neared a door marked "Band Only" and he frowned when she unceremoniously dropped his hand. The room was empty, but she waved him towards a table full of food and beer. "Beer? ... or wine? There's some whiskey around, I'm sure," she frowned and scrunched her nose up a little, making him laugh. He hadn't done that in awhile.

"Hey guys!" she said sweetly when the band appeared in the room, "Look who I found!"

The four men shuffling in dropped their solemn faces for surprise at the Nirvana drummer and Dave immediately felt uncomfortable. He started towards Anna, but she was already in the arms of William who was glaring harshly at her. Oh. She's with the band. Nate was the first to break the awkward silence, greeting Dave with a handshake and apologetic smile. Dan and Jeremy followed, but the greetings were painful when no one knew what to say. No one knew if they should bring up Kurt or their defunct bands or the fact that grunge was dying a slow death... all of it was awful. William was apparently too busy being pissed off at Anna to come over, eventually dragging her onto his lap when he sat on a couch.

"Sorry," Nate said quietly when Dan and Jeremy headed towards the beer. "It's kind of a nightmare in here right now."

Yeah, thanks, Anna. Dave just nodded in understanding and turned to leave, but remembered his purpose for even showing up to this shit show. "Hey man, you sounded great up there. Maybe we could jam sometime."

Nate looked stunned but grinned. "Yeah, absolutely. Let me jot down my number really quick."

*

A couple of days later he was jamming with Nate and William in William's parent's basement. They were away on some Alaskan cruise so the trio had free reign to play as loud as they liked, something Dave hadn't needed permission for in years. They took a break and Dave excused himself to find some water, locating the kitchen at the top of the basement steps. He was taken aback by the sight of Anna leaning against the counter wearing only a black shirt, probably William's and a silver anklet. She was flipping through the newspaper, waiting for the coffee pot next to her to fill and only looked up when he cleared his throat. She looked shocked for a brief moment, then slipped back into her calm façade.

"Coffee?" she asked casually.

"Please," he replied, blatantly dragging his eyes over her. She had a tiny tattoo on her ankle, though he couldn't quite make out what it was.

She gracefully turned on her toes and reached up to open the cabinet next to her, letting her shirt ride up to give him a peek at her ass. He bit back a groan, talking himself down to keep from fucking her right on William's parent's countertop. "Straight up, right?" she asked, breaking him from his daydream.

"As always," he replied, joining her in front of the coffee maker.

She smiled at that and handed him a full cup. "Not much has changed then," she said quietly.

He tapped his wedding ring against the ceramic and stared down at the chip of a diamond on her left hand. "Maybe a few things," he replied, looking back up at her face. "Are you happy?" Cause I'm sure as hell not.

She smiled sadly and hid her hand behind her back as she turned to face him. "Did you get my letter?"

He thought about the letter tucked away with the ones Kurt and his mother had written to him. They were some of the most precious things he owned, though he had to keep them hidden from Jennifer. "I did," he said, setting his cup down. 

It had arrived a month after Kurt died, sitting in a pile of royalty checks and other letters, almost discarded by his wife as fan mail. He had rescued it from the garbage when he recognized her handwriting, tucking it away to read after Jennifer had gone to bed. He still couldn't understand how she could sleep so easily, seems that was all she did anymore while he would sit in the basement among the silent and dusty instruments, staring out at the lights of Seattle and wonder what would become of him. Anna's letter was brief and to the point, which he appreciated. Everything up until then had been flowery sentiments and ideological statements about where one goes after they die. The energy stays; no one truly dies... none of it made him feel any better. Her letter did, though. She had wisely avoided his friend's tragic death and focused on the process of moving forward, giving him one of her famous pep talks from what he thought was two thousand miles away.

David,

This isn't the end of you. You have so much more to offer, so much more to give and there are even greater things ahead. I know it doesn't seem like it now, but you can't give up by turning inward. Force yourself forward once you feel ready to do so. You are loved by so many and I feel so lucky to have known you.

However, in the event you hate me and wish to do the very opposite of what I say, then this is the advice I want to give: fuck you, kitten. I hope you die in a tire fire.

You're a motherfucking rock star, David. Act like it.

I love you,

Annie

It had made him laugh for the first time in months. Truly laugh, to the point of tears. Happy tears. It was still so raw, but for the first time, he felt like there was a light at the end of the tunnel.

"Did you mean it?" he asked her, watching her face closely. "That you loved me?"

"Of course I meant it," she scoffed.

"You never... the entire time I was in Nirvana... Scream. I never once heard from you."

Anna stared into her coffee. "What was I going to do? Show up backstage one day with my heart on my sleeve? You're a big fucking deal now, David! After LA I knew you didn't want anything to do with me."

Dave noticed William coming up the steps and stepped back from her. "No, you don't date guys in bands. I forgot."

"Hey, man," William said loudly, looking between Anna and Dave. "Everything okay in here?"

"Everything's fine, babe," Anna said sweetly, hurrying over to kiss William's cheek. "I'll be upstairs."

Dave watched her go and caught her eye when she briefly looked back. Fine, Anna. Game on. Nate wasn't far behind William and Dave leaned back against the counter preparing to ask them the million dollar question.

"So you guys wanna be in a band?"