HIM
Similar ways, Similar games
Starting to feel the similar pain
Are you sure we haven't met before?
I know your face, I know your name
But I don't know you, isn't that crazy? -Jhené Aiko x Stranger
In order for you to understand, we have to go back.
I was attracted to him from the start, before we'd even met. I'd seen him once or twice around and like I said I was attracted to him from the very beginning. That's why when I got that Facebook friend request from him all those years ago, my heart surged.
We come from a small(ish) town, I mean it's not tiny but it's definitely no city. And he... He was one of those people that almost everyone (around our age) knew and if you didn't know him, you knew of him.
I was one of those people that knew of him, I knew of him before I even realised who he was because people, well girls, were always dropping his name from when we were young. The more I became infatuated with him, the more I realised I knew a lot more about him than I knew. Piecing together stories id heard about in year 8, 9, 10 and realising that they were about him…weird. I knew so much of this boy but I really knew nothing about him, not even his surname. But he intrigued me and I couldn't even tell you why, because really he was nothing special. Not before I got to know him properly anyway.
So yeah, that day when the little red notification icon showed I was really surprised. I don't know why, because as Facebook so subtly pointed out, we had a loooot of mutual friends but I still wondered how he found me and what actually made him add me. I still wonder that actually. Coincidentally on that day I was discussing him with my cousin Brittney. "He's actually sooo hot", she gushed, "but he's really moody, he never smiles!" I laughed in response, "you think? let's be nosey and pree his Facebook" I opened up Facebook on her browser, logged in and typed the first two letters of his name in, automatically his name popped up as a suggestion and I clicked on it. "Nah bruv he is peng!!!" Brittney exclaimed as we enlarged his profile picture. I remained quiet as I took in his smooth caramel skin, fresh shape up, full lips, his small almond shaped eyes glinting with a hint of mischievousness also examining his slightly crooked nose and his big ears... His imperfections. Shit, he was good looking yeah but he wasn't all that I mean I've seen way better looking boys so why did my heart flutter slightly as I looked at a picture of this common 7/10 lightskinned boy. I kissed my teeth and hit the right arrow key, examining each photo with as much intensity as I could before moving onto the next. I saw him in pictures with people I recognised, girls I recognised at house parties, in photo booths etc. I felt my stomach drop a little bit as I wondered if each one was his girlfriend, but everytime I breathed a sigh of relief realising that it was just another family member or a friend.
"How old do you think he is?" Brittney asked me as she peered over my shoulder, "he's not much older than us" I replied, "I think he's like the year above or two years above me at school. I dunno he was in Olu's year at school I think." I said referring to my best friend Nadine's ex boyfriend.
We studied his pics some more before Brittney went off on one of her wild tangents about how we were gonna grab his attention next time we saw him out. "So basically yeah, next time we're out yeaaaah, we're gonna walk past him and then I'm gonna drop my phone like right under him yeaaaah and then I'm gonna pick it up and he's gonna go to pick it up and we'll bump heads or suttin yeah and he'll be like sorry and I'll be like don't worry and do my sexy flirty face and he'll be like what's your name and I'll be like Brittney but you can call me baby gir..." I burst into an eruption of laughter interrupting her ridiculous ramble. "Naaaah you cannot be serious!" I exclaimed, looking at the somber expression on her face I realised that she was in fact, serious. This made me laugh even more, "omg you're too much you know! I literally cannot deal with you sometimes, why would you drop your crusty blackberry on the floor? He'll probably mistake it for rubbish and step on it!" I continued cackling as she got all in her feelings and turned to face the TV.
I went back to Facebook, messaging my friends on chat when i saw the red icon indicating I had a friend request. I clicked on it and saw 'Ibrahim Loyal wants to add you as a friend'. A brief moment of puzzlement washed across me before I re read it to confirm my eyes weren't deceiving me. This was at the time as Facebook was beginning to die out and I hardly used it so I wondered how long that friend request had been sitting there. "Oh my god Brittney" I called, grabbing her arm to get attention "He added me, Ibby added me. What the fuck" Brittney squealed and squashed on the computer chair with me as we both stared at the screen "Accept him then! Come on hurry up, this sexiness adds you and you want to just be sitting here doing nothing you stupid goat!" She scrambled at the keyboard as an attempt to accept the request, Brittney didn't use Facebook so she was just clueless when it came to it. I accepted the friend request and just sat there, what now? I considered sending the old "thanks for the add, but do I know you?' message but decided against it. Because I did know who he was, so that would be pointless and just look stupid. So that was that. He added me on Facebook and that was it.
They claim that any crush that lasts longer than 4 months is no longer a crush but you're in love. I guess I was in love before we even met then and that's fucking weird.
