Between Us, Him and Them [UNder severe Editting]

Chapter Fourteen

The loud banging on the door wakes me from my slumber. When I crack my eyes open, I spot the ceiling of my living room. I sigh as slowly start making my way towards the door.

"Finally!" Sam exclaims as soon as I swing the door open. His oak eyes widen at my sight. "Cassie! We have been looking for you!" He says loudly and steps inside without being invited.

"Sure, you can come in." I mumble and close the door. When I turn around, I already know that Sam is in the kitchen, stuffing himself with lots of food. "What are you doing here, Sam?" I ask him in low voice, smiling at his stuffed face.

"We were worried." He mumbles after swallowing the food. He sits on one of the wooden chairs and looks around uncomfortably. "It brings so many memories..." He whispers and leans against the back of the chair.

"Yeah." I nod and smile. "But eventually, you get used to it." He nods and looks down at his fingers. "Sam... Sammy, you don't need to be worried about me. I am perfectly fine and you, you just had to say if you didn't want me in the gang." I add with cracked voice.

"It's not that." Sam shakes his head. "It's just... you are too fragile for that life, Cassie."

"Why? Because I couldn't handle the matter one time?!" I demand and fell tears filling my eyes. "Sam, I need to do something. To feel that I have deserved to be there." I finish and wipe the tear away. "I need to prove that I am worth of being with you. Because... If I wasn't here last year, if I didn't get to know you..." my breathing hitches and I can feel ball rising in my throat. "I... I would either be dead or she would still be with me... I... Xander would still be with you, guys... And you wouldn't have fought with Golden." I whisper in a low voice and look down at my feet.

"Cassidy." He smiles at me sadly and shakes his head. The platinum curls fall into his face, but he doesn't seem to be minding it. "If you didn't deserve being in the gang, you wouldn't be." He sighs and smiles. "Dave... He just wants to keep you safe. You mean a lot, and imagining that there might be any harm done to you makes him say those things." He tries to make up for what Dave has told me.

"There will be time, when they will get tired of you, Cassidy." Alex sneers and smirks evilly at me. "Time, when they realize how truly useless you are. You can prove yourself all you want, but we both know that you will never be as good as me."

And maybe it's true. No matter how hard I try, no matter how hard I want to prove it... I can never be better than Alexa ever was. She was the best, the star that shined, while I was only her shadow. And maybe even after all these, I still have to be one.