You're My Brother

Day 697- The Pain of Remembering

   It's been nearly two years since Keith first set foot on the premises of The Home. If he's being completely honest, this place isn't too bad. It's actually really nice.
   But the most important time difference of all is that it has been over a year since he lost all possible chances of being adopted. Not a single person has come to see him. The staff sort of ignore him now. He is eight now. Maybe that's why he has so much time to himself. At least he isn't in Mrs. Rose's class anymore. And he got his hippo back a few months ago.
   Second grade really isn't any better though. Mr. Arnold hates Keith with a passion. He's the worst kid in the class, and barely pays any attention. Keith sort of earned himself the name of 'bad student' after his outburst in the park a year and a half ago.
   But that's all in the past now. Or most of it. Keith is a terrible student. He has the brain and does the work, but he doesn't listen to his teacher. Most of the time, he's sitting in the back thinking about anything but learning.
   Today however, is a special day. Each resident of The Home gets to chose one place where they want to go if they've showed improvement in their attitude and grades. The staff decided to let Keith's misbehavior in class slip since he's very 'well behaved' outside of the classroom.
   Keith chose to go home. Back to his home for just one day. It's still there, and not a single person has stepped foot on the property since his father died. Since Keith was forcefully placed in The Home.
   Miss Marry decided she would take Keith. She's the only one he actually listens to.
   "We're almost there," she told him as she cautiously followed the dirt road.
   Keith poked his head out of the window and smiled. Things looked familiar for once. "Good..." he said with a smile.
   "Why do you want to go all the way out here?" Miss Marry asked the boy.
   "You wouldn't understand..."
   As they pulled up to the abandoned building, Keith hopped out of the car and rushed to the doors. "I'll be back in a few minutes. Stay there." He told her in hopes she wouldn't follow him inside.
   Keith fiddled with the doorknob before it opened, and he stepped inside. Everything was just how he had left it.
   "I'm finally home..." he said quietly to himself, taking a seat on the couch.
   Two years.... Two years since he last saw this place. It was painful to be here without his father. It really was, but he felt calm. He was home.

***

   "Do you think you're ready to talk yet?" His father asked him.
   The little four year old boy shook his head, eyes shut tight.
   "You seemed quite upset when I picked you up today. Why don't you try to say something."
   Keith looked up at his father and swallowed hard, he felt like crying. "They made fun of me..." he managed to say.
   "Who?"
   "I don't remember their names..."
   His father nodded and thought for a moment before he asked, "what did they say about you?"
   "That I'm a baby." Keith answered grumpily.
   His father didn't really understand the situation that had happened, but he did his best to comfort his son. "And that's why you put your blanket in the trash..."
   Keith gave a small nod. The blanket was, by now, out of the trash bin and back in his hands.
   "You know, just because you like your blanket, doesn't mean you're a baby." He motioned for Keith to sit in his lap, and Keith did so, curling up into a small ball. "It's quite a special blanket too. Your mother picked it just for you."
   "Mom...?" Keith tilted his little head up. "She did...?"
   "Of course she did. She loved you so much."
   "Then why did she leave?" Keith quickly asked. "The kids at daycare all say she doesn't like me. They all have moms and dads." He brought his knees up to his chest and gave a small sniffle. "Why doesn't anybody like me, Dad?"
   "Now, now. You know that ain't true." His father said reassuringly. "I love you very much. Don't you forget that."
   "You're the only one..."
   "Only if we don't count your—"
   "Mom isn't here!" The boy yelled through his tears. "She left because of me. Didn't she...?"
   "Keith... You have to understand that she loved you. She really did. But sometimes things happen... and she couldn't be here anymore."
   Keith gave a small nod, although he didn't have a full grasp on the meaning of his father's words. He held tightly to the little red baby blanket in his hand, wiping his eyes with the other. "You're still here, right?" He asked.
   His father smiled and messed with his son's hair. "Of course I am."
   "And you promised you won't ever leave. Right?"
   "I promise I won't ever leave you."

***

   "I guess there are some promises you shouldn't ever make, right, Dad?" Keith asked the empty room. "You never should've gone back. And for what...? A stupid knife?"
   Keith rested his head back against the headrest of the couch. "I don't understand...." he groaned. "Why?! Why did you have to leave..."
   He took a deep breath, realizing he was being a complete moron for asking an empty house a bunch of questions. Especially ones you would never get the answer to even if the person you were asking was still alive. The silence soon became suffocating. He won't be able to take much more of it.
   "I don't understand!" He yelled. "Why wouldn't you just tell me...? Why did you lie...? Mom never loved me.... Why did you have to make up those stupid stories about her?!"
   Why is it so terrible here? Just two years ago it was his favorite place on Earth. His favorite place in the entire universe. The one place he felt free.
   But now... Now it feels like a prison. He feels like a prisoner trapped in the pain of his memories with no way of escaping.
   He rubbed his eyes furiously and marched out of the house.
   Just as he was about to leave, something caught his eye. The empty space around the shed he had just exited.
   The gaping hole where his house used to be.
   The house was gone. So was the porch, the tree and the tire swing. All of it.
   It had all burned down, but Keith had never realized what it looked like until now. He had never once looked at the landscape. Not since that day.
   "I'm so sorry Dad.... If only I had listened to you..."