Running // Drarry

eight

             "I can't keep chasing after you, Harry. I'm going on sixty-two. I promised you I would wait forever, but I don't think forever is going to last much longer with everything gone on." Draco's voice had grown softer with age, this was obvious. It's been a month now. Draco's let me leave, but I come back to visit now and then.

             "God, the years have flown by. Haven't they?" I chuckled, pouring Draco a cup of tea. We did this often. We sat across from each other and talked over tea. "Seems like just yesterday I was a first year, and now here we are. You're nearly sixty-two and I'll be thirty-nine soon enough." I could see Draco's eyes gloss over as we reminisced. He was truly heartbroken.

             "How do you not hate me, Harry? After everything that's happened? Fuck, mate. I shot your boyfriend. I shot you. I kidnapped you. I threatened you several times. You should be having me arrested. Not pouring me tea." He sighed, staring at the cup in his hand.

              "I don't think it's possible for me to hate you, Draco. I may not feel the same love for you anymore, but I don't hate you." I quirked a smile and locked eyes with Draco. He smiled back, finally making a move to sip his tea.

              "Do you think things would have been different if we had been a closer age all those years ago?" Draco asked, his eyes moving towards the ceiling. I found myself lost in thought. What would life had been like? 

               "Y'know, I think so." I sighed, smiling softly. "I think that the main issue in our relationship, minus the kidnapping issue, would have been our age difference. If we were closer in age, I don't think anything would have been a problem." My heart hurt thinking about the past. It always did.

                "I want to believe it would have been different. That we would have made it together. But I don't think that's the case." Draco thought out loud a lot. It was something he hated about himself, but I preferred when he did things like this. He was more honest. I rose an eyebrow at him in question. "Think about it, Harry. Even if we were the same age, I don't think we would have ended up together if I wasn't your professor to start with." He sighed. "Being your professor is what brought us together. It's what made us spend so much time together. And unless I was your TA in another life, I don't think we would have made it." I knew he was right, and it sucked. I felt a frown etch it's way onto my face and a tear began to roll down my cheek. "Now, don't cry." He sighed.

                 "It's hard not to. I mean, Christ, Draco. Your son is married with two kids and a third on the way. Your ex-wife has remarried and had a daughter. Twenty years later and we're still doing this. Falling for each other when all we want is for the other to be happy. I don't think it's possible for us to be without each other." My heart throbbed as tears poured. Draco followed suit, starting to cry also. "We're an endless circle of living and dying until someone breaks it." After I said this, we both fell silent. Knowing it was true. "We need to break this circle. We need to say goodbye to each other." I moved to stand, and felt my heart break further as I did. 

                   "That's it then?" Draco sighed, starting to stand. I nodded silently and moved to the door. He followed, wanting nothing more than for me to turn around and kiss him. Touch him. Something, anything but leave. But instead, I smiled softly with tears in my eyes as I opened the door.

                 "Goodbye, Draco."

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is anyone else crying hysterically or is it just me

there is going to be an epilogue

im gonna go cry while i write it