Ever Since We Met

Four

Sam was stretched out on the sofa using his laptop when Dean walked into the library the following afternoon. Presumably he was doing research, but that wasn't what made Dean do a double-take. Sam looked to be...eating a lollipop?

"What's up with the lollipop? A little out of character for you, Sammy." The last thing Dean needed was more weird shit going on with Sam. Not that anyone had bothered to fill him in on what exactly was already going on.

Sam gave Dean an annoyed look, and pulled the lollipop out of his mouth with an obnoxious pop.

"I've been having at least one of these basically every night since 2009," he deadpanned, and popped the sucker back into his mouth, turning back to his reading.

Dean blinked. "Wait, what?" He gave an uncomfortable laugh. "Are you serious?"

Sam just sighed.

"I thought you didn't like sweets?"

"I didn't." Sam muttered around the lollipop.

"This is. Downright freaky. Are you're trying to tell me your whole 'only salads and healthy things' thing was just a lie? That's like your whole personality, dude. So, what, you just sit up all night eating candy?"

Sam shrugged, and fished the lollipop wrapper out of his pocket to wrap it back up. "I like salads. Healthy food is important."

"So...you don't sit around at night gorging yourself on candy?"

Sam scrolled further down the page. "No, that's pretty much what I do."

Dean stared at his brother incredulously. For such a little thing, this was a big thing. For years? For that many years? And he had no idea?

Sam licked his red stained lips, and brought his left hand up to chew on his thumb nail. Dean shook his head.

"So, what, you just decided not to tell me for some reason, and now you're just acting all casual about it as if it's no big deal?"

Sam scrolled again.

"Stop fucking reading, dammit!"

Sam looked up. "I don't know what you want me to say. It's candy, Dean. We've hidden a lot worse from each other."

Dean looked like he was restraining himself from yelling. "Fine, be a dick about it!"

Dean stomped his way out of the library, and Sam calmly continued his research.

Later that night, he stared at his ceiling and thought about what Dean had said. Thought about how it was hard for the conversation to matter when it was about 8 years too late.

The remnants of a breath mint fizzed on his tongue and called him 'Gorgeous'. He didn't bother getting up to turn off the light.

⁠—

"I just don't understand why Gabriel was so bitchy about it. It's not like it's ever bothered him spilling people's secrets before! And what did he have up his ass? He just resurrected himself, you'd think he'd be a little more happy, and a little less ready to bite my goddamn head off," Dean complained.

Cas nodded. He didn't think Dean would appreciate him pointing out that he'd already said the same thing to Cas about 40 times in the past few days since the actual occurrence.

"Sam was upset, and Gabriel felt bad about having been the cause ⁠— that does tend to cause people to lash out," he said, just as he had all of the previous times.

"Yeah, but...it's Gabriel. Why does he care? He doesn't care about anything."

"My brother has been walking amongst humans almost as long as humans have been walking the earth. He has emotions in ways that many other angels don't, so I would say he cares quite a lot."

"Please! I barely convinced him to try and help everyone not get completely slaughtered at the Elysian Fields Hotel."

"You know that he was so hesitant because he did care. You would never be able to kill Sam, and for Gabriel, trying to kill Lucifer was just as hard. I know you want to put him solidly in the 'bad' side of things so that you can blame everything about Sam on him, but it's not that simple."

"But he's a dick!"

Cas gave him a disapproving look.

"So why shouldn't I blame everything on him?" Dean asked. "He's fucking with his head. Sam just told me he's been eating candy religiously for years! Sam. Did you know about that?"

Cas' forehead creased. "No. Actually, I did not."

"Freaky, right? That must have had something to do with Gabriel. That's not normal Sam! Just how long do you think Gabriel's been fucking around with his head?"

Cas was quiet for so long, Dean nearly checked in to see if he had been listening.

"Dean," He said seriously. "Have you considered that Sam may have simply been...mourning Gabriel's death?"

Dean was taken aback. "What?" he shook his head. "Gabriel did us a solid and we were both grateful for what he did, but he was still a dick. It's not like we wanted him dead, but he didn't do it for us, and he wasn't real buddy-buddy with us to begin with. You know Sammy's a little...emotional, but Gabriel wasn't mourning material."

Cas pressed his lips together tightly. He supposed he couldn't have expected anything else from Dean ⁠— in fact he shouldn't have even said it. Even if Dean refused to look too closely at the statement, it was still not Castiel's to have shared.

"Why do you look like that? Do you know something else I don't?" Dean asked.

Castiel sighed. "No Dean. I have some other business to be attending to."

He disappeared with a faint rustle of wings, leaving a disgruntled Dean to stew alone.