SECURE | REMUS LUPIN

11 ; hospital arguments

He was squinting in the rather dark room, his glasses still on the bedside table. It seemed that Remus' sudden movement had woken him and he began to slip his feet onto the floor. "Remus? What's wrong?" He said as he yawned, slipping his glasses on.

"Kate. She was there last night wasn't she? I... I hurt her didn't I? Where is she?" Remus was fully out of bed by now, a panicked look on his facial features. He looked around the hospital wing quickly, spotting her brown hair sprawled out on the pillow of the bed across from his. He rushed quickly to her side, his heart beating from anxiousness.

"She'll be fine, you don't have to worry. It was nothing too bad." Remus turned to see James making his way towards the bed as well, running a hand through his already messy hair.

James knew that the extent of Katie's wounds were actually much more serious - the one thing that kept her alive were the bandages she placed around her wounds - but he wasn't about to let Remus know that. Not while he was in this state of panic.

"What - what happened?" Remus closed his eyes tightly. This was what he'd always feared - he'd hurt someone while he was a werewolf. Not just a stranger, one of his best friends. He ran a hand through his hair quickly, turning to James with wide eyes for an explanation.

"She followed us somehow, I don't know how, but she did. I reckon she was on that prefect round she mentioned. She made it to the Shrieking Shack and well," James ran a hand through his hair - a nervous habit.

"Well, you were already transformed when she got there. It was a tough night - Sirius and I, we had a hard time holding you off. She did a brilliant job at keeping away from you before you could attack."

"I tried getting her to leave, so I turned back human. You were about to attack me from behind, so she ran up between us and hit you with a spell to save me." His eyes raked momentarily over her sleeping form.

"But you got a slash at her arm before the spell hit you. She was unconscious when you finally transformed back. We came here as soon as you did.

"I told Madame Pomfrey that you came into our dormitory carrying Katie and that we thought you two needed to go to the hospital wing. She was suspicious but she didn't ask any questions. She made Sirius and Pete go back to the common room, but she let me stay."

Remus turned back to Katie. There was a large bandage wrapped around her right upper arm. It was stained a bright red from the blood seeping through the large wounds. She looked a lot paler, much like he usually did around this time of the month.

"Remus."

"James, I ... I hurt her." Remus began to pace, continually shoving his hands into his hair as his breathing quickened.

"She'll be okay. Madame Pomfrey said that she's going to be back to normal in a few days."

"No she won't. Werewolf cuts are permanent." He stared at him, eyes wide, his hands stiff in front of him. "God, you don't get it. I'm the reason she's lying there. I did this to her."

James paused. From his trembling fingers to the way his jaw was clenched, he knew Remus was upset. He chose his next words carefully. "That won't matter to her. This is Kate. She won't see you any differently."

"How would you feel James? How would you feel if someone you cared about could've died at your hand?," Remus' voice was shaky, his eyes wide and glassed over in angry tears.

James attempted to walk closer to him but Remus turned a shoulder to him.

"I still hurt her," came his quiet whisper. He was looking down at his hands, breathing heavily. "How am I supposed to live with myself knowing that I hurt her? How can I ever look her in the eyes again?"