31; ifs and despair

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"No, no, no."

She rocked back and forth, not even caring about the mess she knew she looked like. She felt her friends rush to her, though she could only register four warm bodies. She couldn't think straight enough to really think about where the fifth one was.

Her shaking had only intensified, and the tears coming out of her eyes almost choked her at the rate at which they fell.

"This is all a dream. A terrible, horrible nightmare that I'm going to wake from." She stared angrily at Dumbledore, heaving heavy breaths in and out. He just looked at her sadly, so pitifully that it only intensified her anger.

"Tell me it's a dream! Tell me none of this is real!" Katie screamed, her voice manic and pitched. "You're not real! What you're saying isn't real! It can't be, it can't, it - it just can't—"

She looked as if she was about to thrash around, so Remus made the quick decision to wrap his arms around her shoulders and press his lips to her forehead.

He felt the sweat and tears that had somehow managed their way to her forehead and couldn't help but feel an ache in his own chest, not even able to decipher what grand pain Katie was feeling at the moment. In his arms he could feel the way her limbs were shaking violently.

He locked eyes with Lily, who was doing her best to soothe the shaking girl in his arms by rubbing her thumb gently across Katie's hand and quietly whispering words of comfort. Lifting his eyes further, he noticed Sirius and Peter doing something similar for a sobbing James in a nearby chair.

After several painful moments of gut wrenching cries, Katie had calmed down a considerable amount, her screaming now denoted to pained whimpers. He pressed his cheek against her sweat-matted forehead and whispered, "God, I'm so, so sorry Kate."

He heard a deeper, almost guttural noise of pain that he knew was omitting from James' throat. "And James. I can't even begin to think about how much it hurts for you two."

The pain echoing off the walls of the room didn't dwindle even as time passed. In fact, it only seemed to weigh heavier on all present as both Katie and James quieted, their obvious pain silent. Eventually both Katie and James had dried up all their tears, but were now staring at the ceiling and at their hands, an emotionless stare in their eyes.

The other four in the room couldn't tell which was more painful to watch.

Remus, Lily, and Peter never really knew Mrs. Hart well. They'd only met a couple times sporadically over the years. Sirius knew her a little better, but not by much. His meetings with her were spent well, and only had good memories in his mind when he'd thought of her.

Dumbledore cleared his throat, turning all heads except for Katie's. Her stare remained on the curtains billowing back and forth behind him, dull and lacking the spark it always had. Lily had to turn away, the sight bringing an uncomfortable churning in her stomach.

Dumbledore began carefully, his words as soothing as anyone had heard from him. "Miss Hart, I'm afraid I have more unpleasant news to bear." Katherine's eyes snapped to him then, the haunted look still not leaving the irises of her eyes. She merely stared at him. Moments passed, and her eyes remained unmoving. Simply staring at the man in front of her, her eyes akin to a void. The rest of them exchanged wary looks, afraid she might lash out once more.

But she didn't.

"My father," was all she said. Her voice was hoarse and low. It was like the energy had been drained from every ounce of her body.

"Yes, that's what I was meaning to speak of. The death eater had tortured him, but did not kill him. He's at St Mungo's at this moment, and has yet to wake up."

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