perfect || j.a. » c.b.

- one.

looking back, it all started at a vip meet & greet. he was cornered away from the boys where no one would see them. but in the end, he still heard their remarks.

"i don't know how he even eats that way most of the time, he's not exactly skinny."

"look at those thighs. how could anybody be proud of that."

"the way he walks, like he matters, like he's perfect. i think he needs to look in a mirror."

"he probably doesn't own one, i mean, look at his face, he'd probably break it."

and then they walked away, and he kept walking, thinking nothing of it. no, he wasn't skinny, he didn't have a six pack like daniel, or muscles, like jonah. but he was who he was who he was, and that's all he wanted to be. at least, that's what he thought before.

"jack, look, i know you think i'm just a fan, but i won't let you drag the other boys down, you hear me?"

"these, are your best friends."

and she lifted her middle, and her pointer finger, shoving it in his face.

"i don't need to make myself perfect for you, i am, who i am. i am, who i want to be."

"not just for me, jack. this is for the boys. think about other people, other than you, for once please?"

and he couldn't stop thinking about that girl. the way he did use his middle, and pointer finger, as his best friend. the stress made him like this. the fact that he needed to be perfect, he needed to be beautiful. he needed the satisfaction, knowing that he was good enough that he could stay in the band. and it was working.

but as anorexia came along, so did depression. he starved himself, but also cut his wrists in the process. he needs to be a perfect weight.

it went 180, to 174.

174, to 167.

167, to 153.

153, to 149.

he was dropping drastically, and he was proud of that. he needed to be skinny. he needed to be light weight, and that was what he was doing, becoming light weight.

-
welcome to perfect!
this is written by -iconicbesson (noel)

i hope you enjoy!

started : august nineth, twenty-eightteen
ended : tbd