Not interested

Part 7

'I don't like that heavy sigh, girl' Tina furrowed her neat eyebrows in an amusing way like only she could. 'I see we have a difficult situation here. Tell me about him'.

'Well...' I said unsure stretching the word "well" like it could gift me with an endless amount of time. 'His name is Alex' I pronounced finally drawing an image of him in my mind.

He never left my thoughts. Always waiting for me to see the details I've never noticed, appreciate his mystery, beg for a glance. He was playing with me even in my mind, creating illusions, appearing in my dreams. There could be no place for him in all this city but he always had a room in my head.

'He is what is considered to be a "bad guy", all handsome and retro style with the usual smirk and dark eyes. Loved by girls but doesn't get touched. Smokes cigarettes but never says "love". He never stays. He never promises. The worst thing is that he is a nightmare and he is a daydream. And I know that I shouldn't think about him but... You know, the unusual essence of his leaves me no choice" I ended the phrase looking somewhere through the Tina where the image of Alex was smirking at me from the rows of flowers and shook my head to dispell it.

'Holy tulips!' she exclaimed with her hands on the open mouth of her and I had doubts if it was okay to tell Tina everything. 'Sounds really attractive. No surprise that you are into him. But what's wrong?'

'Well, a lot of things. Alex went to my apartment yesterday night and said that he was thinking of me. But the little "unimportant" detail is that he has a girlfriend. Not even mentioning that he is a heartbreaker' I replied with a sarcasm in my tone feeling an annoyance spilling inside of me with a mention of Janet. I shouldn't feel that way because she was probably a good person and so on, and so on but I felt it and I couldn't do anything with it.

'That's a plot twist. It's definitely better than the series I started watching on TV last Monday' Tina answered in an exciting voice and left the flowers she was holding on the table coming closer to me.

'Yeah, kind of' I laughed bitterly not even knowing where my good mood disappeared. 'And he always acts indifferent and smug which makes me feel weak around him. I got an invitation to the private performance of his and our common friend's band today evening and I don't know what to do' I looked into her green eyes with a hopeless expression.

It was hard to imagine me and Tina talking about stuff like that on any other day because we've never been close. And now, when the strange period of my life came to me I suddenly felt an urge to ask her advice, tell her everything that I felt.

'Don't worry, dear' the blonde smiled at me warmly like a mother that tells her child that the nightmares are not real and you can get rid of them with a wave of the hand. 'I think that you should find out what he really feels. He is confident and so are you. Dress up and be yourself, your beautiful self' she winked at me playfully and I felt a little relief spreading in my body.

'But what if I am not good enough? His girlfriend is a beauty and I am just... Just what I am' I grimaced with a sad smile looking down on the sea blue hydrangeas under my fingers. Why just not to be born as a flower?

'Of course, you are good enough!' Tina said reassuringly. 'You are like.. Like...' she put one of her fingers in her mouth in a thinking manner observing the shop. 'Like a half blooming lavender rose, right' Tina finally stated seriously and I couldn't keep myself from laughing.

'What does it suppose to mean? Roses are such a cliché' I was foolishly grinning at her amusing by this strange conversation on a February morning.

'So what? "Romeo and Juliet" is a cliché too but it doesn't mean that it's not good' Tina answered offensively confronting my mocking tone like I really hurt her. 'You are a half blooming rose because you are afraid of opening to somebody, even though you want to. And the lavender colour is a charm that you have, the smartness and artsy essence. So please, be yourself and leave all the doubts' she smiled again with a strawberry warm lips and at that moment I somehow believed Tina. This small chat in some way changed us forever.