A Lesson in Practicality

Prologue

Virgil rubbed his eyes with his hand, sighing and trying to convince his now growing headache to go away. "Patton... I had a rough day, can we talk about this later after I freak out?"

"Oh, s-sure! Let me know, okay?"

Virgil silently walked out of the room, leaving Patton truly alone this time. He looked panicked and looked down at his hands, before taking a deep breath.

The second time was Roman.

He worked at a themed restaurant playing a character, as he loved to tell people. Never actually saying what character and where, for most days led him into a mascot costume to attract customers, hiding away his beautiful face from the world, a true crime indeed.

On the side, he sang and performed at the local theater, but he needed money to pay the bills and he was too energetic and over the top for the normal desk job he used to have before he was laid off.

He wasn't home alone, but instead, he was in the living room trying to find a movie to put on in the background. Flipping through the channels was a fruitless endeavor and he was seriously considering steal-borrowing Virgil's DVD player and just putting something on himself.

"I thought the batteries were dead in that thing." Roman looked at Patton, who stood in the doorway with a single plastic bag in his hand. "I ran to the store to get batteries for it and everything!"

"Oh!" Roman looked down at the remote and smirked. "Uh. It started working suddenly?"

"That's strange." Patton walked into the living room and dug a hand into his pocket. "I thought I took the batteries with me to make sure I got the right ones." He pulled out two AAA batteries from his pocket and showed his roommate.

Roman sat up straight and popped open the back on the remote. It was empty. "AH! Uh, it seems... Our remote is haunted, Patton!" Roman dropped the remote on the couch and stood up backing away, feigning terror.

"That doesn't seem remotely possible!" Patton walked to the couch and picked up the remote. "Well, look at that!" He turned and smiled at Roman. "How'd that happen, you think?"

"What's going on?" Virgil walked into the room, wearily eyeing Patton.

"The apartment is haunted!"

Virgil huffed at Roman's statement. "They better start paying rent then." With that, he turned and walked out of the room.

"Come to think of it, Roman." Patton reached into the bag and removed the batteries. "Aren't you always shocking us with static? Maybe that's how it worked."

"Wha- me? No, must be my... positively charged personality! Nothing else!"

"Well unless you can generate electricity-" Patton looked at the slightly panicking man, a look of realization washing over his face. "Can... Roman, can you make electricity?"

Roman forced a laugh, thankful for his acting lessons. "Nonsense, Patton! That's not possible! You've been reading too many silly fiction novels at the library!"

"Your phone never loses a charge."

"It has a good battery!"

"You were drying your hair last week and I thought the hair dryer wasn't even plugged into the wall."

"Now that's not true! It was simply--!" Roman looked around panicked, thinking of an excuse. "It has a battery too, of course!"

"Roman, it's okay." Patton put down the remote, walking towards his roommate, holding his hands up carefully. "I'm not scared okay? Would it make you feel better if I told you a secret myself?"