The Scars That Burn

Chapter 30

The cab pulls up to our former house and a wave of uneasiness washes over me. My adrenaline kicks in and I suddenly feel nauseous.

Our, well his, house was closer to the airport and I wanted to see it again. It may be the last time I'm allowed to step foot in it after I tell Johnathan what happened.

I pay the cab driver and roll my carry on up the stairs. As I reach the door I freeze. What if he changed the locks?

I put the key in and to my relief it turns over, allowing me to open the door. I step inside and set my purse down on the bench, moving my carry on to the side of it.

I slip off my loafers and step towards the parlor room.

The piano.

The most wonderful gift anyone has ever given me stares back at me and my breath catches in my throat.

I am a piece of shit. I guess we both are but I feel like my infraction is way worse. Mine might not be forgivable and I am trying to prepare myself for that.

Without even realizing it I sit down on the piano bench and open the key cover.

I need to distract myself while I wait for Johnathan and, just like many other things, this may be the last chance I have to play it.

My hand starts to just play random keys, playing harmonies and nothing in particular. I play a chord that sounds a lot like a song I used to play so I start to play the notes.

It takes a minute to remember the melody but I get it and start from the beginning. My hands play as I sing the lyrics to Cold Play's Scientist.

It's a fitting song for how I'm feeling right now. When I first heard it after my parents died I almost crashed my car. The immediate rush of tears blinded me and I started to hyperventilate. I remember pulling over and just sobbing for a half hour.

The mix of my memory and the thought of losing Johnathan overwhelms me and I start to cry, taking my hands of the piano. I didn't even hear him come in.

"Hi." He says from the doorway. It's a defeated tone.

"Hi." I spin around so that my body is facing him.

"You..you wanna go to the living room to talk?"

I just nod and stand to follow him.

When I texted him saying I wanted to meet him at the house he was excited. I think maybe he thought I was going to say I wanted to move back in. After seeing me crying, I can tell he knows something is wrong.

I sit next him on the couch but put a little distance between us.

His body is half turned towards me, his arm resting on the back of the couch. "So...what's up?"

I've rehearsed what I was going to say in my head dozens of times on the way here but now sitting here, all my words are gone.

"I know about you kissing that woman."

He looked like a deer caught in headlights. I would have laughed if this wasn't so awful.

His arm came down from the couch and he held it up in front of me. "I can explain."

"She kissed you?"

He nodded. "Yes. It was at the cafe. I honestly forgot it happened because it was quick and meant nothing."

"It's okay. I wish you would have told me rather than hear it from Travis and Jeffery but it's fine."

He eyed me curiously. "It is?"