• Begging On His Knees •

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How can you stand there and beg

For the forgiveness I want to give

But you abandoned me when I needed you most

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I woke up to whispering.

"I don't care if she wants me to tell you or not. Ron's asleep, so I'm telling you," Ginny's voice hissed.

I heard Harry sigh, "Fine, what is it that's got her so out of things?"

Ginny sighed, "She and Draco have been together for at least the past year."

"WHAT!?"

Ginny threw something at him, hard. "For fuck's sake, Potter."

He coughed, "Sorry, I just- I wasn't expecting that."

Ginny shook her head, "She's so confused about everything, her brain's going to explode the way she's trying to analyze everything. You know better than anyone how stubborn she is. She will never ask for help. So I'm letting you know this so that when she does need help, you'll be in the loop."

The train screeched to a halt and I decided that would be a good time to fake being woken up. I sat up, blinking several times while holding my pounding head.

"You alright there sleeping beauty?" Ginny smirked.

I pushed her, "Just a headache is all."

Ginny pursed her lips the way her mother does when she knows someone's not being entirely truthful, but she was kind enough not to make me elaborate.

"Let's go, Lazy bones," Ginny rolled a sleeping Ron off the booth and he landed with a groan, muttering curses under his breath.

"Yeah, yeah, I love you too," she said, grabbing my hand and pulling me with her.

Ginny stopped as we got off the train and her face fell, "I see them."

"We all do, Gin," Harry said, wrapping his arms around her and kissing her on the cheek.

Ron coughed.

"For merlin's sake guys, you couldn't even have waited until we got on the carriage?"

I rolled my eyes and made my way over to the carriages.

Ron, Ginny, and Harry got on before me. I looked up as I began to pull myself on but I immediately met a pair of gray eyes. My hands slipped and I landed roughly on my feet.

"Uh, this carriage looks pretty full guys. I'll just take the next one," I said.

Harry frowned and patted the spot next to him, "Nonsense, 'Mione. There's plenty-"

Ginny smacked him and she nodded, "That's alright. We'll see you inside."

I nodded and went to the back of the next carriage, which was full of a bunch of third years. They were all rambling excitedly as we made our way to the castle.

I looked at the carriage ahead of us but immediately looked down at my hands. Draco's eyes were almost hungry, searching for mine. I didn't look anywhere else but the ground for the entire ride.

I met Ginny, Harry, and Ron outside the entrance to the Great Hall and smiled at them, "Thanks for waiting."

Ginny rolled her eyes, "As if we wouldn't."

We walked into the Great Hall together. Immediately the hall went silent except for hushed whispers.

I sighed, I was afraid of this.

"Oi! Harry, Hermione, Ginny! Over here guys!" Dean Thomas yelled cheerfully, as if we needed to know where to sit.

I was grateful though, that seemed to break the tension in the room and people began to chatter noisily once again.

"Thanks for that, Dean," I looked at him and he nodded.

The door then burst open, revealing a fresh new year of first years. Innocent little children. I wonder how many of them have nightmares of the war every time they close their eyes.

After a boring twenty minutes of sorting the kids, which didn't get any more entertaining over the years, McGonagall finally let us all eat.





McGonagall had owled me before the term started, asking If I would like to be a prefect. I appreciated the offer and was immensely honored, but I decided this year I would lay low, let someone else have responsibility.

"Now, first years, follow your House prefect to your dormitories. You will all receive your time tables tomorrow morning at breakfast. Good night."

The first years and prefects went first so that the kids didn't get trampled on the steps, then it was fair game.

I stood immediately, wanting to get to my dorm and lay down. The headache still hadn't faded, if anything it got worse.

As I made my way out of the Great Hall, someone grabs my hand. I freeze and instinctively pull my hand away.

Someone's mouth hovers beside my ear and I hear the voice that's filled my head in my dreams and my nightmares, "It's me, Love."

I immediately spun around to face him, I let out a shaky breath as I glared at him, "Don't you dare. Don't. You. Dare. Call. Me. Love. You lost that privilege the day you ran away from the battle... away from me."

Draco's face hardened, "Hermione, you don't understand. I was trying to protect my family-"

Tears slipped from my eyes as I cried, "Wasn't I your family? Why didn't you protect me as well?"

Draco sighed, "I needed to get my parents somewhere safe, Hermione. Surely you know what that's like."

I shook my head, "No, don't you dare pull that guilt trip because it's not going to work. You could've came back to fight but you didn't! You just ran away!"

I was sobbing by now. People were gathered in a ring around us by now, people whispering. But Draco's eyes stayed glued to my face.

His voice cracked, "I'm sorry, Hermione. Forgive me... please?"

He's weak, basically on his knees begging me to forgive him.

My voice was shattered by emotion, "Don't you think I want to? When I was with you, you took the nightmares away. You're light shone so bright that you got rid of my dark light. Then you just ran away and left me to fight without you by my side. These past few months without you have been the roughest I've ever had. But I'll suffer through them if it means you won't hurt me like that again."

I pushed away from him and walked up the steps, knowing the entire school was watching me. So I decided to wait to run until I cleared the corner. Then I full on sprinted up the steps and to the tower where the fat Lady sat, humming.

"Dragons," I said.

When she looked up and saw my probably sorry looking face, her lips fell into a frown, "You alright deary?"

I was loosing patience, "Dragons."

She shook her head, "Teenagers."

The portrait swung up and I managed to slide between the few people already in the common room and up to the dorm that Ginny and I shared without being stopped.

I sat on my bed, drawing the curtains around me and casting a muffliato spell and drowned myself in tears.

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