Tom Holland/Peter Parker Imagines

to love is to destroy [t.h.]

Summary: Tom offered his heart on his sleeve but you were terrified of him knowing you even had one.

Word Count: 1.5k

Warnings: angst, minor swearing, bad ending

A/N: a lil shortie just to get me back in the flow of writing ☺️
based on the quote from cassandra clare's the mortal instruments: city of bones
"To love is to destroy, and that to be loved is to be the one destroyed."

feedback is greatly appreciated, and let me know if you want a part 2! enjoy reading!!

•••

The city bustled with a mix of tourists and locals, either in an obvious rush to go elsewhere or enjoying a picnic on the greenery. Stands dotted the area, with food or caricatures being sold—even writing on a grain of rice had its own (surprisingly successful) stand.

You walked slowly with Tom, the boy you'd been seeing for nearly a year now. There was live music playing from somewhere you couldn't see, and Tom hummed the melody next to you. The two of you made it to the park, not too far off from the bigger attractions. You sat on the grass and faced each other, soaking in the partly cloudy skies.

"Y/N," Tom started. He looked deeply into your eyes, but you looked away. "We've been dating for a while now, y'know."

You cleared your throat. "Yeah, we have," you said. You looked around, keeping your eyes on the plentiful kids on the playground. Anywhere but him.

Please, you thought. Say anything but what I think you're going to say. 

He didn't even try to be subtle about his intentions with you. Tom clearly wanted a relationship, and maybe you did too. He was obvious about it, trying to coax you into calling you his girlfriend, getting you to move in with him, and basically anything else that screamed Serious!

You grew closer with him than a normal friend, no doubt. You had shared kisses and cuddled and took naps together. You went on regular dates and had conversations deeper than you could remember.

But you would never dare to risk your heart.

Dating was as far as you'd allow anything to go. It wasn't that you were scared of commitment; the two of you had an unsaid exclusiveness to whatever you were. You weren't completely sure what you were scared of, anyways, but there was definitely something. The idea of having a gentleman like Tom as your boyfriend was better than any, but it was only an idea.

You've been made aware of countless stories of good gone bad. Everything to nothing. Lovers to ghosts.

People loved you, you knew that. You had family, friends. You loved them too, but never more than you should.

You knew one thing for sure: to love is to destroy. Allowing Tom—or anybody, for that matter—to really love you meant making you vulnerable. Weak. Ready to be broken. It also meant that you'd allow yourself to love him back, and inevitably break him too.

How could you live with yourself knowing you could do that to someone? Nobody should have been allowed that power, yet there were the stories that proved everyone abused the power. It was clear that you wouldn't be one of those antagonists, and you'd never allow someone to be yours either.

"So, uhm," Tom began again. He pulled a small box out of his bag that he brought with him.

A jewelry box.