I am NOT your fan | EXO CHEN

33. The truth untold

"He might end up putting himself in a tight spot because he won't give up so easily. He won't be able to end it especially if you someone dear to him... but you, Rosie, I know you can."

So much persuasion from Jason when it boils down to only one thing: he wants me to give up on this relationship. I pulled a long frown, considering again and again, but I wasn't willing to come to his conclusion.

"You know you're already under investigation for the leaked demo. The fact that you're a suspect for that is definitely going to drag him down with you. So if you really meant well, break up."

I don't want to drag him down...

"But if he still wants to fight for us... I won't be able to do anything against that," I muttered.

Because I still want it. I still want him.

"That's the problem, Rosie. Don't you get it? You need to make him leave you. Break it the real way and make him give it up completely. Don't give him the chance to fight for it."

He's technically asking me to break his heart to make him give up on me. How can I ever do that?

"I'm saying this because I really mean well for the both of you. Please listen to me, Rosie..."

My thoughts were clouding, and I didn't know how to respond anymore. I just kept deliberating...and...

"Excuse me!" Jongdae busted through the door, inviting himself into the conference room.

"What are you doing here?" I fixed my eyes on him but he was only looking at Jason.

"It's true that we're dating," he confessed so easily.

Jason was right. He couldn't choose to give up anything.

"KIM JONGDAE!" Jason raised his voice.

"It doesn't matter what you wanna hear, Jason, but there's one thing for sure. No matter what happens, I will protect her."

"No, you don't have the right to choose." Jason dictated.

"You can't stop me," Jongdae continued to challenge.

"Yes, I can. You either give up this relationship, or you're giving up your career. Choose."

When I saw Jongdae hesitate, it struck me with guilt.

'He won't be able to end it especially if you someone dear to him...'

Must I really do it the way Jason asked me to? End it? The thought of that made my heart collapse and hit rock bottom.

'You need to make him leave you. Break it the real way and make him give it up completely.'

Breaking his heart? That would kill me...

'His career will be threatened. You don't want to see him fall, do you?'

'Nobody in this world would approve it. Not the company, definitely not the fans, not even his family would support if it ends up ruining Jongdae's future.'

Every sentence hit me so hard, even though I wanted to deny it so badly. It made me realize just how worthless I am, that I can't protect him and I didn't have the power to.

It took me so long to realize that I was only a good-for-nothing idiot who turned out to be an obstruction in his life. I gave an asshole a chance to leak the demo, and this careless mistake ended up ruining his SM station song.

Yet he still wants to protect the relationship and he still wants to protect me? That's so silly of him. The whole world knows that he should never be risking anything like that. Not for me.